What hurts the Most

Saturday, May 31, 2008

HAHAHA. I'M LAUGHING HEAD OVER HEELS NOW.

Watching "18 censored or not". Despite the name, it's really a fun filled drama on how a group of girls and boys get to know each other. Kinda like hatsukoi limited. x) OMG PEIPEI LOOKS CUTE. HAHA. But in ep 6 she was damn freaky. Erpz. Haha.

And one thing. I just realized how slow I am. Only after watching the drama then I understood the word "unrequited love". Wth. OMGOMGOMG IM SLOW. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Man. I just spent 7 hrs on the show.

GOGOGO!! :D MAN I LOVE THIS SERIES SO HILARIOUS.

9:20 AM
what hurts the most

Friday, May 30, 2008

My day would have been okay if theresa lai hadn't called me up and talked stuff that I already expected to hear.

Saying stuff like providing equal opportunities for RA and RP students, unbiased teacher's recommendation. Why don't you just put yourself into our shoes for once and see how it really feels like when a teacher just turns you down because she didn't even bloody try. And she says the quiz team and the selection for the NSC/IJSO wasn't from RA only. When Mark Wee, Joy Lim, Yau Pooi Har and KSP all said so. And there is empirical evidence at the same time. I think there are some issues needed to be straightened out here.

And she still says the teacher's recommendation is appropriate because they know us best. Yeah. Tell that to people like LLP. Know us best. If you don't give us a platform to show our knowledge, you still know us best. WOW. HOW MANY TEACHERS KNOW THAT DAVIN, ME AND BRYAN COVERED THE ENTIRE CHEM TEXTBOOK. HOW MANY PEOPLE KNOW DAVIN HAS FINISHED THE BIO TEXTBOOK. And yeah, well done. We give our time and effort for something and you come back and tell us we're not good enough because you never gave us an opportunity. I THINK THAT IS BRILLIANT. ABSOLUTELY.

Screw this. I think I'm just going to like, heck care about my RI life already. Only about good grades right. Why bother studying extra when you can like spend time doing other stuff. Huh. Might as well spend the time doing other stuff that isn't harmful to our healths.

Today is a screwed up day. Haiz.

4:47 AM
what hurts the most

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Lolololol today RIBP was weird.

Firstly in the morning, I went to school then met up with people like Huiyao and Aaron. All imba. Then Huiyao was like, playing his stupid handphone game then like shout at me OMG TOP LEFT CORNER look!!! Then I was damn pissed and then started to tease him whole day on top left corner. Lols. Ok that was utterly random. Then Huan hock came and we LAUGHED. His hairstyle damn funny. His hair like all gone from the sides only on top. Then there was even some small scar where the barber injured him 0.o then he said he paid 9 bucks for it. Lol. Poor Huan Hock. Then I realized it was at the top right corner xD. Ok. So lame.

Then waited for registration... while registration I was doing my bio ws. And because I haven't read up a single thing on respiration, naturally I have no idea what it is about, since bio is like a mug-to-understand subject. *hinthint* Then I was like asking Aaron Tang and Ernest Aw (Alan's bro) who both topped bio RA, then both of them tell me forgot and dunno. Same for Tjeng and Huiyao. Like zomg. AHHHH. How can they not know. Too imba already. Lols.

Anyway, the quiz. There was a practical session as well as a quiz session. The quiz I could answer all of the questions (they were about sec 3 level, haha)and well, the prac session they did titration. Like wth. So imba. Then me and Ryan Chen (Some sec 2) and Wang Ye were playing with the chemicals at the back and we spammed starch with iodine all over the place. Haha. Then also played with lemon juice and all the weird stuff.

So. Finalists. NHPS, CHS, KCS (Kong Chuan, like wth that's imba), RS. As usual, Nanyang screws up, getting sixth overall team, not qualifying for the finals. But the saddest was probably ACS. They had top 1 and 3 for the quiz round, but apparently they screwed up the practical, getting 5th position for team. Sigh. Lol.

The questions for the finals were of course of a higher level, but then I could answer all of them except for this: "what is another name for mad cow disease?". Came out in the jeopardy round, and the answer was, if I'm correct, BOVINE SPONGIFORM ENCELOPATHY. So cool right. How do you expect a P6 to know that omg -.- Then astro 20 was to explain Twin's paradox. Which was quite ok lah. Actually I think this year's RIBP was quite slack compared to the year which I took part in, where the questions were like crazy stuff. Haha. Eventually Rosyth won with 85 points, beating Cat High who was 2nd by twice the amount -.- 42 points. Then followed by Nan Hua which I can't rmbr and KC with 4 points. COol. Factor of 21. Imba pwnage.

Then went to lunch with WZY and Wurm. Can't remember what we talked about, but weird stuff, I remember. Lol. Ate at Yoshinoya, where I saw like, two RJC couples sitting at separate corners. Zzz. At least no PDA. But seriously. It felt damn weird when we were the only ones in the place other than the two couples. Then like, nobody was talking except Wurm and Wzy, and I was eating quietly. Lolololololol. Then went home alone. ):

So. Anyway. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Damn. I just hate life. And I will keep saying that until I have finished all my projects. Which will be like, NEVARRRRRRRRRRRRR. ):

Haha. Just kidding. (:

5:45 AM
what hurts the most

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Okay I was quite pissed off today.

I went to school at 9. On a prearranged meeting for my RE. And guess what? Nobody turned up! And when I called Min Jian, he say it was cancelled at the last minute. Then I asked why he didn't send any notification. He say because he just cancelled it. Wtf? And he didn't even reply my sms at 12am last night or 7.30am this morning. Then he tell me because jonchow cannot come. Call bryson to go if I wanted to. That's some bullshit la. I'm sure you tell me to go, then don't go because another group member not going.

After being pissed off once again by my RE group, I slacked off in the library awhile. While doing my work of course. Then I met Zydney. He was doing some german ws thing. Then he started getting damn weird and horny and started screwing around with my homework. Writing stuff like gay s*x over my word documents isn't funny -.- but anyway spent 2 hrs doing work and slacking abit.

Then went home. Ate lunch first. But on the bus I met a MATTIE. WAHAHAHA. xD then we talked about stuff like boxhead and science. Haha. He so imba as usual. ):

Sianz. After I reached home, I just like, fell asleep promptly. So freaking tired these days because of projects, especially that stupid RE. Then woke up at 4, did alot of work until now.

):

And a joke by mattie: President Pian is in great pian! Help him!

xD (haha only the physics RP pupils will get it though)

4:31 AM
what hurts the most

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Right. Today was a day which I kept getting owned.

This morning, I got owned. Me MinJian and Jon chow had to WALK from the MRT station to SBWR. It was a 1 hr walk even with a bit of running and walking. Around 8 km. Zomg. And guess why? We originally planned to take a taxi to there, but then it was peak hours and we just travelled 100m the fare was 6 bucks. Like wth. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I got so pissed that I told the taxi driver to let us out in the middle of the road. Lol. Then we walked. Sianz. Then had to walk into the mangroves to pluck nerites some more. Super tired. Haiz. In the end Minjian and JonChow did quite a substantial amount of work, including the experiments. Spent my entire morning and afternoon. Zzz. A quote from minjian who self owned.

Minjian: I hate racists and indians.

-.- No offence to anyone, I apologize for my friend's stupidity. Lol.

Anyway. Yeah, so RE finally back on track. Hopefully.

Then skipped lunch since I was late for RIBP rehearsal. Sianz. Ended up slacking around. Then I owned Huiyao by doing him a ppt that looked like the desktop. Then whenever you try to click on the desktop a letter appears. Then he was like WTF when he saw the full message. xD Call me wuliao, then later do the same. LOLOLOLOL. Nvm. Haha it was funny lah.

Then here I am... quarreling with Siyi over whether she's mugger or not. -.- Obviously she is. Lalala.

And I beat roys in pool 4 - 1. Hmm. 2nd win x).

K thats all for today. I NEED TO FINISH WORK BLEH...

5:26 AM
what hurts the most

Monday, May 26, 2008

I'm officially sick and tired of screwed up people in my RE group.

Why am I always the one that has to solo the project eventually?

I don't like this at all. I don't think anyone would.

I wish I could just go back to when all my friends were really imba and at least did abit of work instead of pretending to do work when I'm doing all of it.

I hate my life.

5:40 AM
what hurts the most

Sunday, May 25, 2008

I feel like just screaming the F word.

Flammingo!!!!!!!

Dammit lah.

I just decided to call MinJian, my responsible RE group leader, to ask him when the deadline was, since we have not started. Guess what he told me.

Minjian: I think it's 1st of july.
Me: Can you check with Mr. Law?
Minjian: Oh, no the paper says it's 1st of June.

6 days left.

And WOW. WE HAVEN'T FREAKING STARTED ANYTHING YET. WELL DONE.

AND MY GROUP MEMBERS DON'T EVEN GIVE A SH*T ABOUT IT.

IF WE FAIL RE, WE CAN'T MOVE ON TO SEC 4. APPARENTLY THEY DON'T WANT TO.

I AM SO GLAD THAT I CHOSE TO DO A PROJECT WITH JONCHOW MINJIAN AND BRYSON.

And once again, I find myself in a screwed up place and time. Why does this always happen to me. Seriously.

I hate myself for being so unlucky.

5:51 AM
what hurts the most

And the pool league starts!

With me losing to shaun choo 5 - 0. -.-

Shaun choo today very imba. Sian.

spread = -39

Anyway, I got the score sheet for secret! Yay! Then now I can travel back in time and tell myself not to watch the vid to get all emo x)

Haha. So lame.

Me: I'm not in form today
Mattie: Chew is top in the form again
Me: wth?
Mattie: Haha
Me: Yeah la I only have consent form
Mattie: Lols x)

:D

2:46 AM
what hurts the most

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Ok. I had a dream on 'secret'. Don't ask.

Anyway, after thinking it through and calming down ABIT, I think I realize why I feel sad even though it's a happy ending.

Firstly, the female protagonist has died at first.

Secondly, Jay travels back in time to save her. But travels to the time when XiaoYu doesn't recognize him.

I think both points are equally important.

Because to me, the female protagonist HAS already died. What was of the past is of the past, and it cannot be changed to avoid the butterfly effect. In other words, Jay has either not travelled, or travelled into a parallel universe. There is no way you can alter the events once something has happened. In other words, you can change what will happen, but you cannot change what has happened. All you can do is travel into ANOTHER universe, which is similar in all aspects, but different in what has happened. Thus, that is plausible and Jay can save XiaoYu.

However, this is the cause of the problem - That XiaoYu HAS already died, and the one Jay now is with is not the real XiaoYu. It just pains me to know that the XiaoYu Jay knew is not the same. To put it simply, they are the same people physically in different universes, thus they are not the exact same people. Would you love someone who has those memories or someone who is an exact replica of that person? What is the value of the person holding those memories as compared to the replica then?

Sigh. I also think that the part with the appearing words were very sad. Sobsob.

Oh crap. I just realized that XiaoYu looks like NiuYi. Zomg. 0.o

ARGHHHH. I don't think i can do work liao. Still very down. ):

7:33 PM
what hurts the most

Oh my son. I cried today.

The movie was just beautiful. Sigh.

Even though it's by Jay Chou, I think it's a wonderful romance movie.

I watched it on youtube. What can I say. It was really nice?

Poor Xiao Yu. Poor Jay Chou. Anyway I suppose the main thing about this show is to show that love is stronger than time... And the way they brought the message across was so good!!

AHHHH I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!!! EVEN THOUGH IT'S HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!! T_T!!!

Anyway this is just a random post. The main post of today is below lol.

SOBSOB T_T

3:10 AM
what hurts the most

Friday, May 23, 2008

Haha. Today was an unlucky but fun day.

Went for founder's day, met chew at school. I actually got the whole cross country team to play frisbee coz they were sick of training 0.o haha. Quite funny. I just realized if I relaxed and throw it can go far and straight 0.o but chew adds so much spin that it curls like some imba parabola. Using the wrist of course. Too imba already, like mattie. Haha. :D Yay sometimes it's just nice to know imba people. I tried the wrist flick but couldn't spin as much. Haha. Then the underhand throw. I think the most imba one's is Nathanael's. Damn cool. It spin halfway... then in mid air flip over and continue flying until I caught it. 0.o first time I ever seen/heard a frisbee flip in the air. x)

Then founder's day was, well ok. Yeah. Quite lah. Nothing much about it.

Then after that, we played abit more frisbee! Then this time, there was a lot of wind. Then I threw the frisbee upwards directly, then the wind suddenly blew like some imba crap and got stuck on a ventilation shaft. 0.o I'm like zomg. It's 4m above our heads, so GG. >< unlucky. Haha. But nvm. It was free anyway.

Anyway. Shaun choo and me are setting up a pool league. The game is on msn - guinness pool league, where we will play a round table (no pun intended) game and then may consider for finalists.

The current people are: Me, Choo, Roys, Mattie, Kenji, Zhao Kai, Yuet Cheong, Min Jian, Lingfei. Interested people please sign up before we decide the fixtures.

The rules are the following: 1. no powershot. 2. no nudging while opponent takes his shot. 3. 5 games, alternate hosting. All scores have to be verified by both parties and reported to either choo or me.

I just realized how tired I am. Good thing there are the so called holidays... haha.

Anyway. I think this song kinda explains how I feel now. The meaning of the song, not the song itself. Don't be literal, lit people. Ahahaha.

Lucky - Britney spears

This is a story about a girl named Lucky…

Early morning
She wakes up
knock, knock, knock on the door

It's time for makeup
Perfect smile
It's who they're all waiting for

They go,isn't she lovely
This Hollywood girl

And they say
chorus
she's so lucky, she's a star
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking
If there is nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night.

Lost in an image, in her dream
But there's no one there to wake her up
And the world is spinning, and she keeps on winning
But tell me what happens when it stops?
They go…
"Isn't she lovely, this Hollywood girl?"

Chorus
And they say she's so lucky, she's a star
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking
If there is nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night

Isn't she lucky, this Hollywood girl?

She's so lucky, but why does she cry?
If there's nothing missing in her life
Why do these tears come at night?!

Chorus
And they say she's so lucky, she's a star
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking
If there is nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night

(she is so luckyyy)
she's so lucky, she's a star
But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart, thinking
If there is nothing missing in my life
Then why do these tears come at night

11:17 PM
what hurts the most

And it's the holidays!!

Or maybe not. Define holiday.

Sigh. When Philo is the only academic subject that doesn't have a project (which means stuff like CLE has, zomg), you know something is wrong once again.

Argh. Drowning in homework.

And I still feel upset over many things. NSC qualifying test apparently was a piece of cake. Haha. Mattie says the hardest question there was a maths problem... involving some trigonometry thing. Lol. Aiyah. Then with bio questions like "energy currency used in nature", who needs options... needless to say with the imba mattie and chew RI qualified and made it to the quarters with NY and RG. Well done lah. Lol. Two strong teams in the quarters, although the most likely team that will be sent out is NY. RG is damn strong, and RI follows closely (yes I actually think RI is still not strong enough against RG ><). Ahh well. If I talk anymore about it I'll go like, damn emo again.

Never mind. Today. It was quite slack lah.

Morning had bio, where I absorbed a huge amount of ~~fats~~ facts on fatty acid. Bleh. We're going into the citric acid cycle soon. I think I may die of brain failure. Haiz. Then maths, where Lai Chee Keen had his last lesson with us. It was pretty touching lah. Lol. Ok maybe not. He was quite a good teacher, pity he couldn't teach us longer. I'm hoping our next teacher will be Plim. She can teach well even though she might just scream her head off at our class. Sigh.

Then CLE. Was hilarious. Beatrice Cho was trying to conduct a lesson desperately but PHAILED. Haha. She was trying not to laugh at Bryce then laughed. Lol. We had to do some conflict resolving thing, then someone had to act as the mom and another as the child. Here's how it went.

"Imagine your mother violently objected you from having a sleepover at someone else's house. What would you do in response to these statements?"

Kenneth (Mom): You never listen to me at all!
Bryce (child): But I thought... I never listen to you at all?

Kenneth (Mom): You are being very inconsiderate!
Bryce (Child): But how can I be IN considerate?

Bryce (child): It's my life - I want to do what I like!
Kenneth (Mom): Oei! Boy you know if not for my egg and your father's sperm, you won't even be born you know! Be grateful lah!

Ok lol. It's strangely funny but very weird. Haha. Even Beatrice Cho was laughing x)

Then English... I suppose the only good thing was that Alfiani actually let us off 10 mins early for lunch. Whoo~. Haha.

Then wandered around with Shaun Choo and Roys. Then in the end we went to the Kemama shop and played FRISBEE. WHEE! Super funny. The frisbee was slightly broken (a very minute crack) and we decided to play frisbee with a scoring system. There were two goals, which were quite okay size, then we had to shoot the frisbee past the "keeper" to score! I won roys. Haha. Tyco but fun. Then in the end, the frisbee nearly split into half already, the crack extending up to 3/4 of the frisbee. 0.o Lols. Shaun choo kept scoring the low shots. x)

Then went science club, which was damn ~~fun~~ funny! :D Mattie was supposed to teach but because he was so imba thus he went for nsc instead. So wenjie went to teach. Then it was quite funny. After the lesson we had a QUIZ time. The quiz was uber random, and then the scoring system was also super funny. Haha. Questions like "what is one plus one?" and "How many C's are there in total on this ppt slide?" Then we got free snacks (From winning the open house!) because of that. Slacked until 4, then came home. So funny. :D

so yeah. That pretty much sums up my day. Haha.

Holidays. Time to catch up. And I guess rest abit.

Life damn tough, once again.

5:36 AM
what hurts the most

Thursday, May 22, 2008

I'm so bored that I have decided to once again do a quiz from nana's blog.

Name 20 people you can think of right now. Don't read the questions until you've named the 20 people. At the end of this,choose 5 people to do this.

1. Mattie!
2. Chew
3. Siyi
4. Stacey-ann
5. Roys
6. Deb
7. Cal
8. Nana
9. Miin
10. Bryson
11. Joel
12. Lingfei
13. Shaun choo
14. Sean Lim
15. Shaun thium
16. Kiawei
17. Davin
18. Ervin
19. Renjie
20. Ying

how did you meet 14? (sean lim)
-.- Omg. 3P... didn't exactly enjoy meeting him though.

what would you do if you never met 1? (mattie)
I might have felt worse when I found out other people got into NSC (: I don't mind mattie since he's so imba, haha.

what if 9 & 20 dated? (miin and ying)
That'll be cool. Send me a pic of their first kiss, lols.

will 6 & 17 date? (deb and davin)
That's uhm. They don't even know each other, haha.

describe 3. (siyi)
SUPER DUPER MUGGER! Ok. Lol. Nvm. Just mugger. You can't deny it. Wahahaha.

is 8 attractive? (nana)
eh. You have to be kidding me.

describe 7. (cal)
A guy who suans you in everything and then say you suan him. And really, in EVERYTHING. Except being suanned.

do you know any of 12's family members? (Lingfei)
uh. No. Haha.

what would you do if 18 confesses to you that he/she likes you? (Ervin)
I'd be emotionally traumatized for the rest of my life and never want to see the light of day again.

what language does 15 speak? (shaun thium)
chinese, english and singlish.

who is 9 going out with? (Miin)
Don't ask me. I just know the numbers, not the names. xD

how old is 16? (Kiawei)
15 this year.

who is 2's fav band/singer? (Chew)
I don't think Chew likes many songs. Haha. He's too imba for songs already x)

would you date 4? (stacey-ann)
If she got rid of her attitude problem and grew taller and stop speaking in french, maybe.

is 19 single? (Renjie)
Yeah, duh. What, you expect a bear to be married at this age?

is 10's last name? (bryson)
Lim. Bryson Lim the slackerrrr.

would u ever be in a relationship with 11? (joel)
Friends. Violent, pissed off friends, but still friends.

school of 3? (siyi)
raffles girls.

where does 6 live? (deb)
Yio chu kang. Then again if you want her address, ask her yourself (:

what is your fav thing of 5? (roys)
Smart and imba. Willing to teach me.

have you ever seen 2 naked? (chew)
-.0 what kind of question is this?

Not going to send this to 5 people. Although I know some people will kope it off my blog, like no. 17. Haha x)

BB!

4:08 AM
what hurts the most

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Today was a boring day.

Apart from emoing from not sleeping the entire night, I think I was ok.

Sigh. Still have to chiong finish Chinese project. Deadline is now 11:59.

Well at least I can be assured that I'll sleep early. Haha.

Oh yeah. Today was NSC's prelim round. The presentation one.

And they had to show and explain Newton's three laws using some given materials. I think this would be pretty easy even for the sec 2s. But I suppose it's the creativity part that's hard. Haha.

And I just found out that I'm not applicable for the leadership camp for SC. Sigh. When you start sinking to the bottom, life just seems to drag you down further.

I just hope I don't hit the seabed soon.

5:45 AM
what hurts the most

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Sheesh. Today I have high affinity with RJ people. Keep bumping into them everywhere and anywhere. Yeah, I know they're close to us, but this is like the first time I actually talked to any of them apart from my seniors. Lols. Not to mention the two RJ girls who saved me when I was stuck outside the RI gate lols. Actually they KSed Bryson who I asked to help. xD shows that RJ people have good hearts. Haha.

Anyway. Today was essentially boring, except for the lunch discussion with Harold Au and Clement Zheng. Omgee so cool! With Cal there, you know the talk is going to be damn sick. Ok joking. But it was sick. Haha. Oh yeah. Buckley house meeting was also quite fun. I think Zac was quite brave lah. When the captain ask who was interested in Dramafeste, he was the only one who stood up. In the entire LT. I think for that he really deserves a round of applause. Haha.

Yeah. That pretty much summed up the day. Chinese project due tomorrow. DAMN. And I still have more than 8 pages of chinese to translate. GG. I think I may sleep at 3 tonight. Or not at all. Whoo~

Sigh.

3:45 AM
what hurts the most

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Ok. Koped this off nana's blog. Shall try to do it.

Who is my closest GIRL friend?
Too many/little (Subjective on how close you mean) to name.

Who is my closest GUY friend?
The one and only imba x999 Mattie who pwns me in everything except being a n00b.

What is the most shocking thing i have found out in my life?
Nothing. My life is boring as hell. Unless you count Chinese project as entertaining in some way.

What are the requirements that you wish the other party has?
Character. Definitely.

Who is currently my favourite teacher?
Clement Zheng! :D Harold comes second x)

Do i believe in love at first sight?
No. That's lust at first sight. Kinda like ~~Yudder~~. Ok joking :D

Have i broken someone's heart until the person wanted to commit suicide? If so, who is it?
I did. Lucky it didn't happen though. If you're reading this, I'm really sorry again.

Which was the best day in my life so far?
I have no idea. I think all days are equally good/ bad, sadly.

Have i ever cried in school before?
Pretended to yes, really cried no. I've made people cry though. I'm a very bad boy ):

Do i have any regrets? If you had a chance, what would you do?
Millions. If I had a chance, I'd probably just bypass them once again. They serve as a learning experience for me and it's well, simply put a part of life that we have to accept.

If you tell me a secret, and a few days later, I hated you, will I reveal your secret?
No. Because I don't see the point in telling secrets that people will confide others in.

If you almost got hit by a car and a girl/ boy that you like saved you , what will you do?
Scold that person for not letting me die. Haha.

Which subject do I enjoy the most?
Astrophysics I guess. Quantum comes next, then bio and chem.

Who do I hate the most in 3P?
I don't hate people. I don't really deserve to anyway. People hate me.

What will I do if a girl/ boy suddenly kisses me?
Girl: Say thank you. Boy: SLAP HIM AND RUN AWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. :D

What am I worse at?
I'm worse at being good at anything, really. That's kinda why life sucks for me. Always a jack of all trades.

How am I feeling now?
Tired. Just finished a game of squash with my dad.

What am I doing now?
Doing this quiz, playing chess online, on the phone, doing my chinese project, doing my social advocacy project. Multitasking so to speak.

Who am I with now?
No one. As usual.

Who do I love the most?
MY DOG. SHE'S SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OMGEE :D (please, save those nasty comments to yourself)

Haha ok. Anyway, I just finished a game of squash with my dad. Lost 6 - 0. Never scored more than 4 points per game. Sianz. I MUST PRACTICE MY ANGLE SHOTS. Sigh. And once again, don't try to slice so much since I usually miss.

I guess I'm back with 4 items now after I click the "publish post" button.

'Click'.

7:27 PM
what hurts the most

I had a really weird dream last night.

I lost my leg through an accident.

And then everyone started moving away from me.

And for the first time I felt how it was like to be handicapped and how handicapped people were treated.

It hurts to know you're not the same and people avoid you because of that.

Sigh. I can't say it was a nightmare but it certainly is thought provoking.

If you see someone handicapped in trouble next time, please, help them.

Other than that, I don't think that there's much for today. Except studying like some hardcore person at home.

Sigh. I hate Chinese project, SS project, English project, RE.

T_T

7:40 AM
what hurts the most

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Today WAS an unlucky day!!! Sigh ):

The unluckiest thing that happened to me: My spectacles split cleanly into half for no apparent reason other than the fact that I picked them up from the table gently. Here's the proof.

Sianz.

The other unlucky things that happened to me were actually the reverse of yesterday's lucky streaks. I missed the two buses I had to take home, so I waited for the next bus for BOTH. Haiz. And I lost pretty much every single chess game I played today. >< So much for luck. But never mind, at least I didn't get knocked down by a car. =P haha.

Today's RIOH was uhm, FUN!!! Quite anyway. I did two tours, with many kancheong parents asking stuff like how is the stress level. I think I did a pretty good job answering those questions lah. They seemed impressed. Haha. Never mind. It was quite a fun job. Oh yeah, quotes!

******
Me: If the parent suan your height what would you do?

Choo: I would tell them if life is so fair, why do roses have THORNS!
******
Me: Good morning sir, welcome to RI. Is this your first time here? If so, please proceed to the registration counter to register before proceeding anywhere.

Parent: Are you a rugby player?

Me: No sir, why?

Parent: Cuz you look like one.
******
Parent (who has abit of an accent): Hi, may I ask where is the atrium?

(Terence hears wrongly and instead of atrium he hears ATM)

Terence: Oh, the ATM is at RJC sir.

(Parent walks towards RJC)
******

Lols. Quite funny haha. Then I went to the hockey booth and ushered for awhile, and managed to do an airhook. Wow. With floorball stick of course. Haha. I'm quite surprised I managed to do it. >< Then, I went for lunch, and ate two packets coz I was so hungry and nobody took anymore packets... (yes I know I'm fat ><). Lol. After my shift I wandered around RI, spending most of the time playing chess with Davin and chinese chess with Royston, which I lost 2 - 1 to. Careless and noob. Haha. Needless to say, Davin owned me. And suan me by saying he's damn lousy. Eeyer. Then tried the gymnast thing... I couldn't land on my feet while somersaulting, only landing on my butt. Sheesh. Lol. Then randomly played tennis rallying, which I realize I need to stop trying to spin the ball while rallying. Lols. Other than that I could rally with a school team tennis player. Which isn't so bad. Haha.

So I conclude the day on a... uhm. Sad note lah. Since my spectacles only split at like, 9. Haha.

Oh yeah. A picture of my drawing. Comment if you wish. Negative ones are definitely welcome.

Just a friend.

8:17 AM
what hurts the most

Friday, May 16, 2008

101 post!!!!!!

Reminds me vaguely of Lol. Haha.

Ok. Too much good luck today. I scored a number of goals for basketball in PE, managed to survive class without scolding today, did an imba drawing, managed to stay in the library for 1 whole hour in PE, both my buses coming in the moment I reach my stop - thus no transfer time, slept on the bus and woke up exactly at the right stop, played pool games and won a lot, played chess and never lost today. And here I am, thinking if my reversibility of luck equation is true, I predict tomorrow I will be knocked down by a car.

Shit. If my luck is spent in such minor and pathetic ways, I think life is sooo unfair. I seriously rather have bad luck in all of the above and get at least a 3.6 for my grades. My luck is screwed! )#@$(*%@#*(&#@)$*@! I just wish I have some people's kind of luck. Sigh.

And I'm praying I don't screw up at RIOH tomorrow.

And I'm in fear of the future, thanks to my beliefs.

6:58 AM
what hurts the most

Thursday, May 15, 2008

MY 100th POST! WHEEEEEEEEEE :D

Haha. Ok.

Thanks guys for being uhm. Caring and uh. Knocking me into some sense.

But then it's like quite sad if you're being said to be very good in the school when you get scolded like some shit at home. My mom is like, saying I should be at least top 10% of my cohort seeing that I'm a geper, and at least a 90 - 100 percentile for all the subjects. Then I'm like wtf. It's living in a world of extremes, where one world kinda wants you to move down while the other climb up. And I'm stuck in the middle. So, it is not easy for me to say that life is kinda happy for me now.

So yeah. I really. Guys I'm sorry if I suanned you or anything unintentionally, but it really is like fixed into my mind that I must get super high marks or I die at home. Perhaps you all could suggest to me what I should do. Sigh. By the way, talking to my mom won't work coz she is like some ***** that never accepts the fact that she is wrong at times. And my father also expects good things from me. So I can't exactly talk to either of them.

I'm UPSET!!! T_T

And all I can do is just to watch the people on top like stars in the sky, out of my reach.

Studying hard never pays off as much as studying smart

8:26 AM
what hurts the most

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

"If life is so fair, why did Davin get 27?" - Bryson.

Yeah. And why did I get 28.

I just feel like some useless shit now. I screwed up so badly for bio - 28/35. Which is a bare 80%, and still unable to salvage my failed practical. My current percentage is still 76.9%, which is 3.6. I expected at least a 33 for this test. What the hell. It just isn't fair. To Davin especially, who painstakingly typed out all the freaking imba notes for us. And then losing to the likes of Royston and Yuet Choong just because they know what to study and how to answer. Both of them got 36/35 btw, (bonus question). I just feel that I'm performing even worse than when I didn't even care about studying. Even Pek gets higher marks than me for last minute studying. I seriously want to give up studying for any single test already. It's like, studying hard is inversely proportional to the grades you get. Wth. Why do I even bother trying to do everything then?

And I'm soloing 4 projects at one go. SS, English blog, social advocacy and Chinese project. GG. Trying to study and at the same time solo stuff. I've been sleeping at 1, past 1 even, just trying to find time to study here and do project. And there, I see examples of people who don't even give a hoot about studying and doing so much better in academia, social and physical areas. It really brings me down to the question, what am I doing all these for. Why the F*CK am I doing all this. If I'm doing this just for the sake of what my parents want, then I'd willingly go buy them a robot that will do what they want. I don't have a goal in life. Because all of them have been crushed pretty much to bits.

It's like, I'm getting so far away from my friends already. As I watch the backs of my ever so familiar friends, I keep wondering what am I doing with them. It's like they're all of a higher social status, people of great achievements and I'm some obscene mistake in the picture. Sure, I can laugh along and play with them, but when I look at them I just feel sad. I see them next to me but they just seem so far away.

And, once again, I'm in tears over my faults - hoping that this day would end and fade without the linger of a bitter taste.

2:36 AM
what hurts the most

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Today was quite the entertaining day. Not.

Anyway, had TWO PRACTICALS in one day. One graded, the other not. Sigh. Chem was FUNNNN hahaha played with anhydrous copper sulphate crystals. When you add water to them, they become hydrated and it is an exothermic reaction! Omgz! Haha so nice. The spectrum wavelength they reflect changes from white to blue. Ooh. Haha.

Then uh, we had philo. Sianz. I lost 3 marks in the mock test, and probably going to be alot more in the real CCT if I don't buck up. >< GAHHHHH.

And then BIO. The prac was quite fun, apart from the random precipitate and stuff which dirtied my paper. Sheesh. I don't like copper oxide =/ it stains. Haha.

Chinese was ok, I was as usual more attentive in class than previously. I was uber happy when I got 18/20 for chang wen suo duan (some shortening paragraph thingey) then I died when I saw my marks for the cloze passage, 4/20. Although I think the highest was 10/20. >< Ah well. Never mind ):

Then had this uber long and boring talk about the "milk of human conscience (or something I can't remember)" But it was boring. Bore-boring.

Yay. Then after school I and Kiawei and Shaun choo and Bryson (haha who cares about and's) played squash at the school squash courts. Yay. First time I touched the squash racket in uh, 5 - 6 years? Haha. Looks like I still have a bit of my touch. It's damn fun! Except when my spectacles fly off though. Wahahahaha. :D Yay I want to play again, owned Bryson. Lols.

Then boring open house stuff, which kinda wearied me out for the rest of the day. Bleh. And here I am now, almost dozing off.

Here's a nice question: What is the point of continuity in the human race, or any other specific living thing for the matter? What is nature trying to achieve when in the end all species will die out? What is the purpose or main goal to be achieved at the very end?

Memories still linger as painful drips, distorting my focus.

A song of strife
and a toll with life

5:24 AM
what hurts the most

Monday, May 12, 2008

Inspirational voice. All I can say, really.

Sheesh. The chinese project is getting on my nerves. >< I must perservere!

On the other hand, I'm starting to think that the English social advocacy project is a solo job. By yours truly, which kinda sucks.

And I got 9/15 for my SS test. Expected lah. I screwed up. Noooooo. Sigh. I can't believe it.

My arm still hurts from yesterday's badminton training. Ouch.

Let tomorrow be a better day, please.

5:58 AM
what hurts the most

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Tsk. I was too tired to post last night.

Once again, I feel damn sad coz all my cousins are females. Which means I kinda have no one to talk to. ): Except when they tease me. Bleh. Asking stuff like whether I have a girlfriend. Sheesh. Obviously not - I'm so ugly and fat and dumb. Haha.

Then I spammed my ever so imba chemist aunt with questions. And then she suan me by saying stuff like VSEPR and hybridization is very low level. Then say alpha and beta glucose bonding is very simple also. Angulation of bonding also very easy to calculate. She specializes in Physical chem. Zzz. I feel EMO. To be suanned everywhere these days. Haiz.

Yay. This morning I went to play badminton with my dad. SO COOL. I FINALLY WON HIM 13 -15. OMG. But that was when he was uber tired. Haha. The badminton court was seriously screwed up. I tripped over the floor -.- the floor was OILY, for goodness sake. The cleaners didn't clean it. Then end up when I try to burst sprint I tripped. Ahahaha I'm so n00b. Yay (: But I won like 1/5 matches. Bleh.

And for today... I think I'm screwed. So much work, so little time.

Anyway THANKS DEB FOR HELPING ME THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU :D

Stupid chinese project. I officially boycott chinese!

Not. );

8:21 PM
what hurts the most

Omg I just realized Jane Zhang is called the dolphin princess. For being able to hit notes within the dolphin whistle range with ease.

She's probably the singer I respect the most.

Anyway, she's another example of life's unfairness.

She was originally known as the most talented singer in the competition, with the best looks and best voice. However, because the other competitors actually garnered more support than her, she lost out. Even though her voice is sooooooo damn good. T_T But she got third, which is quite okay. I suppose not many people can deny that she sings like some angel. Ok. Not exactly, but she sings foreign songs brilliantly. IMO she sang "loving you" by minnie reperton the best, and I even think she did better than the original singer. Haha.

Someone who radiates talent and looks still can lose out to a n00b.

Remember, afterall, it's not the smartest people who become the richest.

It's the lucky ones.

2:53 AM
what hurts the most

Friday, May 9, 2008

My dad just came home and talked sense into me.

He says that life isn't fair.

And he says that if you cannot prove yourself you just have to work harder.

He says that it's my fault that I didn't get into RA - if I had gotten 3.6 overall, I would have gotten in regardless of teacher.

He says that it is no use challenging the system when you're a part of the system.

He says that unless I have all the support I need, I should never challenge the system, but instead let the system challenge me to let me soar to greater heights.

He says that I should forget about NSC and IJSO and just work harder for myself.

I'm trying, dad.

I'm trying.

4:59 AM
what hurts the most

Thursday, May 8, 2008

The unique thing about life is that when you think it's at its worst it just gets worse.

I failed my bio prac. Well, I anticipated that, but I didn't think I would be the ONLY one to fail. I got 6/14, which was quite a pathetic score. Joy Lim was like, omg Dewin how come you're the failure in this class?! What happened? I dunno. Maybe because I was half asleep during the prac test. I didn't even read the questions before I started my experiment. Then again, I'm always screwed up, so I should stop giving myself excuses and just tell myself to work harder.

Next: I got 19/30 for physics test. I really don't know what to say. A minority of me is happy, while a majority of me is completely emo. I have no idea what to say anymore. When I saw my paper, I was like wtf - so many of the questions I got wrong I could have done correctly. Then it turns out one of the MCQ questions I coincidentally asked Royston before the test came out. And Royston gave me the wrong answer (not that it was his fault), so he got it wrong too. I should have checked. Sigh. In physics/ anything maths related, carefulness is almost integral. Then the bonus question - I think it wasn't clear. I knew how a telescope worked, but I thought the eyepiece was unmovable, same as Chew. Sigh. Then in the end I thought it was some trick question requiring a concave/convex so I screwed the whole thing up and got 0. I'm so pathetic T_T

And when your pride and beliefs crumble, you can't help but feel sad, can you.

Life goes on.

3:35 AM
what hurts the most

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it.

Guess what I just found out?

Nathanael and 2 other sec twos were allowed to take the test. What in the world.

So much for "we selected the top few from RA only".

I suppose it's back to favoritism eh.

I don't understand why do we have to recieve this kind of shit treatment from the teachers. We hear dunno how many lies and "sorry"'s until we forgive them, but then again you just know they are lying their way through to cover up for their lies.

What's wrong with taking the test. Seriously. You even let sec two's do it. I don't see why we can't even TRY. Not like you lose out or anything. This is bloody pathetic. I can't believe I'm even wasting my energy typing this out. I thought adults would be more mature and smart, turns out I'm wrong.

And it's bloody ironic, that I'm finding all these out right before open house. And I'm an usher.

This is a landmark in my life.

A landmark where I find out that how screwed up our educators can be, and what the feeling of rejection without a chance feels like.

Life just gets better and better. And the scars never seem to heal fast enough. So spare me with the pleasantries, and do your worst. RI.

3:56 AM
what hurts the most

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

I'm damn pissed.

And I won't even try to hide my contempt this time.

I just realized that the selection quiz was for the IJSO as well. Which means I'm missing out the two most important science competitions in my RI life.

You know how much it hurts when you badly want to do something and don't even get a try at it because of discrimination? Hmm? You know how screwed up your logic is? You don't even give others a chance. Even in RA, getting the top scores may not mean having the most knowledge. Especially when you just base it on one term's performance. Look at the example of Zydney - he screwed up his maths RA test, then he failed maths which was double weightage, pulling his GPA down like crazy. Is that what you call justified? Is that how you judge others? By this screwed up system?

Worse thing is, you don't even give RP people a bloody chance. You think people like Davin couldn't get into RA? Dream on. Seriously. If someone like Shaun lim who got an average GPA of 3.0 and a GPA 3.6 for science can get into chem RA, I seriously don't see why someone who got an average of GPA 3.4 and 4.0 for science can't. Because of a screwed up teacher, we have to suffer for her mistake? What the hell? Do you know how pathetic it is when you try to come up with excuses such as, oh because your maths isn't good, so I can't put you into RA? To think we accept education from people of such morality. I think you guys are just trying to save your skins from the fact that people in RP can be better than some people in RA. Obviously, students are expendable. Huh.

I can straightaway tell you that Davin can top Chem RA and do better than many in Bio RA. He is even good in physics. Seriously. Expending others for the sake of the name of "RA"? Don't kid around. In this case, what makes you different from those politicians who dirty the environment? What makes you different from those people who are racist or sexist? Pathetic. Hypocritical. What else can I say. You all destroy the dreams and future of others for the sake of your idea of a perfect "RA", regarding those who are in the lousier classes as of a lower class. What a brilliant, elitist policy! I am so impressed with it. Maybe you could just suggest it to the government and we could implement a nationwide elitist policy. Then ask all the "lousy" ones to scram. Sheesh.

And with all that, I conclude that today was an extremely disappointing day.

Apart from the fact we won 1 - 0 in the interclass soccer match against 3C. Kenneth Lim scored the goal.

And I think I'll cry myself to sleep tonight to get rid of the disappointment.

Life is hell.

4:37 AM
what hurts the most

Monday, May 5, 2008

Why is it that when you put in hard work it never pays off?

I studied like hell for maths. I actually studied for three days, spending all the afternoons doing maths problems. And yet, I got only half mark more than what I got for my first CCT: 19.5. I feel suicidal. Seriously. When you see people who don't study at all like kenneth Lim getting higher marks than you, you really want to scream at something, or maybe even hit it. I'm sinking.

Then I also just found out the NSC selection quiz will be held tomorrow. Only RA students, the top few. I cannot express how pissed I am at them. Seriously. They just neglected a good portion of RP. Not saying that I can get in, but people like me and Davin who could have DEFINITELY gotten into RA with the help of a better teacher, unlike SOMEONE who immediately rejected us because we didn't get GPA's of 3.6 overall. Screw it lah. Then Davin, who is pro at all sciences, is kinda like a wasted talent. And obviously, the Raffles programme is too screwed up to even see the blindspots of their own programme and continue believing in maintaining their pride. Afterall, if there are better students in RP, what have the teachers been doing in RA? Because they are afraid of finding out, they use the name RA to give special privileges. It's just like the catholics and the protestants in Northern Ireland isn't it? Because the protestants were the rulers, they just said that the catholics could not vote if they did not pay tax payers money; but the catholics were given less job opportunities, in other words they could not vote and the protestants could rule the land for basically forever and ever. Sheesh. This is more of dictatorship than democracy.

I'm so tired, angry and emo that I can't even focus on bio anymore. I'm prepared to fail.

Let's get it done and over with.

4:26 AM
what hurts the most

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Today a purple moon will appear.

Coz I actually studied the entire day without stopping 0.o

Whee. So cool right.

Sheesh. I'm so worried about bio and hist.

Sianz. This week also have to teach for science club. Astro... so many topics in just 1 hr. Brilliant lah. I can talk more than 2 hrs for this.

Meanwhile, the Davin suans with his imba bio chemistry and chem knowledge. 16 enatiomers of glucose. Wtf. 4 Chiral centers. Ugh.

And it's about time I told you

I'd rather be a friend than lover

5:03 AM
what hurts the most

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Sheesh.

Just had a heated argument with BOTH my parents over superstition and feng shui. Wth. Ended with me losing to this statement: You are still young, so you haven't experienced what we have experienced. Obviously I can't refute that statement. Lols.

Anyway, this may help Ying in her chinese sia if she visits this blog at all. So I shall just post a part of the argument.

Mom: Fengshui is based on scientific theories you know? I give you an example: You see, people like to face their door to the south. Why? Because of the westerly and easterly winds, nobody likes to open a door and get wind blown in the face. When you open the door from the south, it will be just a gentle breeze, so naturally people like it. Then they will be happier, and that affects their performance, which in turn leads to good luck.

Me: But isn't that still relating to good luck? Let me state your premises.

P1 - People prefer gentle breezes being blown in their direction than strong winds (sound)
P2 - People will become happy and that will make their performance better (sound)
P3 - People will have more good luck when they perform better (soundness questioned)
C2 - Therefore Feng Shui is reliable in bringing others good luck (NOT sound)

Sheesh. Anyway, I kinda lost out to my parents still. My father says that the reason why I don't believe in faith or anything is because I'm not emotionally attached and to put it bluntly, he said I'm a very emotionless person. Maybe. I suppose I am. Everything you invest in must have a use / profit, which is kinda like my thinking. Then again, it is nature. Doesn't nature do the same thing? Invest in population change mutation with energy, eg. the cockroach mutates to become resistant of insecticides in just 3 generations. Yeah.

Ok. Too much brainwaves dumped here. Back to my history.

Q: What did Copernicus beat Archimedes in?

A: Copernicus moved the Earth while Archimedes only boasted about it.

Q: How did Copernicus move the Earth?

A: He moved the Earth from the center of the universe to orbit the sun instead.

Yeah. Lame jokes. All the way.

(:

6:24 AM
what hurts the most

Life just keeps getting better and better.

I'm praying it's not cancer. Sheesh.

12:24 AM
what hurts the most

Friday, May 2, 2008

Shit I'm becoming damn lame.

Then again, I've always been, and I'm proud of it! :D

Haha.

Today was quite a good day. First thing in the morning was maths, where I finished up my graph and everything. As usual, Royston was being imba. And Davin. Suanners united. Haha.Then I surprisingly was ACTIVE for maths! And VERY active! Whoa. I actually managed to solve an equation that Davin couldn't solve! Which is like omgwtf godliness lightning moment etc lol. Haha. I so n00b, definitely tyco. Then we learn log, and abit enthu and went on the finish half the worksheet. Lols.

Chinese composition cct: I was like sweating through the entire thing coz of pressure. I didn't freaking know how to write like, more than 20 words? Then it was until 30 mins past the start when I realized we were allowed to use dictionaries -.- I could have screamed there and then. Haha. In the end I managed to conclude in time, although my suggestions column was 7 lines only. When it could have been 20. 3 and 1/4 pages, quite ok. Shaun Choo wrote 6 pages (green foolscap, which is shorter than the one I use by 1/3 around there) and Yuet Choong wrote 7. Aiyah. Both of them imba suanners lah. =(

PE. We played soccer! Haha. Lucky no 2.4. I died under the hot sun though. Then this sec 4 class played soccer with us. We got 10 men, they got more than 10. But we still played. We lost 4 - 0... although there was much integrity questioning on their part. I can't believe they're sec 4 when they play like this. They foul us by pushing us and all that we didn't care and we played on, but then when we foul them they go like spouting vulgarities and then play rougher. Seriously. What the hell. Why do sec 4's act like they are extremely pro, call fouls when there aren't, even when they have more people, and amazingly keep silent when they foul us. Sheesh. When life is tough, I need to be tougher. And more resilient.

Ok. CLE was nothing much, except the fact that beatrice cho ACCIDENTALLY showed the class her msn address. It was super funny. We were all looking in the direction at her when it popped up. We were like, OMG HAHAHAHAHA then she was super bewildered at the sudden outburst. Only when she realized what we were looking at was behind her (the projector screen) then she was like OMG! and ran to the computer to close it. Haha. I shan't be mean and post it here, neither shall I add her - leave that to the despo and horny creatures with the likes of richard NG. Heh. Ok.

After that I stoned around and played handphone games, then went to library to read. I read the scientific american issue for April, and one article particularly caught my eye: Graphene. From what I know, graphene is the term for a single sheet of graphite (I'm assuming all readers know that the arrangement of graphite is linear). Apparently it says that graphene is very interesting because it's so thin (one atom thick) yet it may be harder than diamond. Or maybe even the fullerenes. It's electrical conductivity is comparable with that of a supercooled conductor AT RTP. And it is also stable at RTP, zomg. That's like, incredible. Something just one atom thick is so strong and can conduct electricity so well. Yeah! Probably the next hottest things in science, with that computers can probably progress to supercomputers. And supercomputers to super-supercomputers. And so on. Haha.

Recently I've been addicted to this handphone game called DEEP: submarine odyssey 3D. It's a new and improved version of GOF (galaxy on fire)and if you thought galaxy on fire was cool, wait till you play deep! Its background is fantastic: Set in the 22nd century, mankind has destroyed the world with global warming. All the water from the polar ice caps have melted and this has caused the entire world to be submerged underwater (yeah it's possible). Humans are then forced to live underwater, and not to high up, due to the breakdown of the ozone layer. Radiation is extremely high in upper levels, so there is need to watch out. There are stations built in the sea, as well as these things called S.T.R.E.A.Ms which are like gate portals leading to another place. The graphics are excellent, and it is damn FUN. There is the new concept of layers, since the ship cannot go above a certain safety zone because of radiation or below the safety zone due to water pressure. You have to buy better equipment to enter these zones. There is also the ability to "fish" in this game, which adds to the playability of it. It's incredible how Deep evolved from GOF. Wow. I think I just wrote down an entire review/commercial for the game. Haha!

Ok ok I think that's all. Good night and best of luck to everyone in their studies! (: especially the rgsians, seeing that they have myas.

Nitez~

5:40 AM
what hurts the most

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Sorry today too boring so no post..

Oh wait I just posted.

8:55 AM
what hurts the most