"You tell me that you need me then you go and cut me down
but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around
And say
That it's too late to apologize
It's too late"

Sorry if this post may sound incoherent, but really, I'm in no mood to do anything now.

Well, clearly, people don't understand certain things.

Like what happens when you add stress to people who bottle things up, like me, for the past 4 years. Well, to be specific, 3 years, 2 months and 23 days at last count. Refer to guan lin's blog about 'bottles' if you have no idea what's a cracked bottle.

Refer to reader's digest article at the same time, "the secret men won't admit". Basically, that's the whole psyche of the situation.

And why am I saying all this?

Because I have learnt of something really devastating today (well, in my opinion) and I really cannot take this masquerade anymore.

Even walking through the rain on my way home did not help lift my spirits. (Lols Stace, it never works for me, sadly)

Okay I ranted enough. Bottom line: You, are nothing but trash.

Bye.

2:38 AM
what hurts the most

Lol. Today was an okay day I guess.

Scraped my arm on the trampoline (like, wth?!) thanks to Cal -_-" next time I must think twice before participating in his weird events again. Oww.

Tried to do math in school, but utterly failing. I don't know what to say. Sobs? Tears are useless. ):

I'm still praying hard for my vice-head position in RISC. But obviously, Huiyao and Barry are trying to find opportunities to get me out of exco lolz. So mean xD

Sigh.

It's hard to let go of everything, anything that lets go of you.

7:53 AM
what hurts the most

Sigh I feel so fail.

I can't study at all. Dunno why. I touch the books, 5 mins later I'm doodling. ><

ARGH!

MUST. CONCENTRATE. GAH.

On the other hand F1 is quite nice. Poor Piquet and Massa. Well, their cars too xD

Gah. It's so hard to concentrate ):

6:24 AM
what hurts the most

RISC ftw!

We won NSC for 4th year running. :D Today the questions weren't quite hard, except for the anabolism one which stace actually answered. And she says she's not good in bio, -_-" x 100! lol. And I missed this anagram - EHLINOP. I saw PHENOL + I, but missed PINHOLE completely. Sigh. I can go emo about my pathetic skills in anagramming now. /wrists. xD

Yep, apart from that nothing much today. Increased my general knowledge though.

Random note: Omg the trophy was super heavy. I bet it must be all the knowledge stored inside it xD

Random x2 note: Squark is small. xD

Haha, bye :D

6:53 AM
what hurts the most

I'm degenerating. Whee.

I feel like some uber radioactive toxic waste slowly decaying to some filth. Ugh.

My academics are going down, and so is my attitude and behavior.

And it still hurts.

Sigh.

"My heart did some calisthenics, but I did it anyway."

7:38 AM
what hurts the most

"Love is bittersweet."

(Rubbish, love is bitter always. Sweetness is a moment of delusion.)

Sigh. It's like I'm some invisible stalker these days.

I keep walking behind the backs of people. You know like some emo scene, I always try to catch up but they keep getting further and further. Like Mattie - I saw him twice today, but he was walking in the other direction. I was like chasing him but then somehow cannot catch up. Sigh. Then also, some other people. What's wrong with me. Getting left behind, literally and laterally.

How will I walk down my own road?

Worry about that later, time to think about handling EOYs first.

Hmm.

Life sucks. Period. (Coz after EOYs I'll probably be happier xD)

6:32 AM
what hurts the most

I dunno whether to yay or boo today.

Bad things today:
-Gym was locked up whole day except 1 period. No pingpong. D:

Good things today:
-Got into OIP (overseas immersion programme) for Korea. And I only have to pay $350 for a 11 day trip. How cool is that.

I don't know if to count this as a good thing or a bad thing: I went to mug with deb and joni at Bishan Library. Then at first I thought could study quite productively. Then I realized it was quite phail. Lol. Joni is still as talkative, although I think now she makes more sense xD And crap, RG math and chem covered some topics that we didn't even touch at all. What's with Electron Radii. Omg. D< and their history they covered what we learnt for sec 3 and what we're going to learn for sec 4. RI lags quite a bit. ><

Why am I so tired. -sigh-

8:39 AM
what hurts the most

Sian.

Today nothing much but ping pong. Sigh. I should really stop. >< Beat Cal 3 - 1 at first, then Cal say play first to four sets, then he come back 4 - 3. Obviously suanning me. Haiz.

Math is killing me!

Heck, I can't believe I'm mugging with johnny and [smartperson] tmr. Probably the only time I'm actually going to absorb any information. xD

Other than that, Nothing much. Bye!

STRESS! STRESS! -dangles weight tied to a rope taped to ceiling-

See! Even my lame jokes are lame no more. SIgh.

8:12 AM
what hurts the most

"I hate that I love you."

Haha Joel ling just came back from OIP. And he tells me some RGS girls went too, and he says a few of them are chio. To quote cal: "RGS has 0 chio girls. 0." Naturally, I have demonstrated that Cal is gay. Okay kidding. But well, it's a matter of opinion.

Stress is making my posts incoherent and weirded. But oh well. I think maths is a monster. Waste of time, and so hard to understand. Not like SOME PEOPLE out there who are naturally gifted as compared to my idiocy. Sigh.

Wouldn't it be nice if you never woke up from your sleep at all ):

Sigh.

7:53 AM
what hurts the most

Hmm. Today I moved on from log (FINALLY) to coord geom.

And guess what!

I epic fail.

xD

Things left to revise (mug): Chem, Bio (haven't touched on anything. So cool), Phys (quite a number of topics left), SS, Hist

I'm so screwed! Yay!

Sigh. Worn out by the stress.

Two weeks countdown, from tonight.

6:21 AM
what hurts the most

Went for dmp at 10 today. On med phys. Saw huiyao, barry, aaron, ivan, wenjie, daniel, nigel (name all the top sec 4s you can find). Almost fainted xD too strong an intellectual climate zone!

(And to think i was trying to do math, in front of Ivan and Barry. I phail)

The rest of the day was pure destressing (note: it is known as playing in normal language, i'm just being euphemistic)and a bit of work. But I still fail at maths. Sigh.

It's so hard to pull through this crap.

8:57 AM
what hurts the most

Science club interview for exco was okay.

Apart from that, this is a filler post :D

night!

9:16 AM
what hurts the most

I epic-ally fail at life.

I can't do a single question on logarithms now. Epic fail!

I can't beat Cal in pingpong now. Epic fail! (okay not that much, because he's damn good)

I can't stay awake during dmp. Epic fail!

Bottom line: I am Epic Fail.

Sigh.

Brain burn... much.

8:54 AM
what hurts the most

"To call you beautiful is an understatement."

Today was... tiring I guess.

Got a scare, momentarily believed my premonitions were actually coming true one by one. Hopefully not. They're all nightmares. ><

Anyway, today had chem dmp, where nanotech ownz :D we made ferrofluids! (Magnetic fluids) And crap, I lost my sample, but it was so little anyway. Nvm, I shall keep the gold ions tmr with care :D

Then had PE dmp, where we learnt stuff about sports injury. Pretty useful.

During recess, something weird happened. I walked past HYT, and then she asked me my name and class (she is my teacher, btw) and then she asked me if I knew what the kaye effect was. THanks to wai choong, I read up on it, then HYT said she was going to recommend me for some international phys olympiad thing. I'm like 0_o huh okay. I doubt I have a chance though. I have the entire physics RA people to contend with -_-

History DMP didn't learn much except that I learnt about google documents! So handy. You can do a powerpoint simultaneously with another person. How cool is that man. Lols.

CLE was... okay I guess. Really, the lesson probably created more confusion between all of us than helped us in anyway.

Yep. Did not play more than an hour of pong today 0_o therefore shall not post anything. ><

Bye!

7:04 AM
what hurts the most

I'm driving myself insane with psychological texts. One has to realize that if he keeps doing that, he'll eventually be a social retard due to conflicting theories.

Today for DMP we had non-euclidean geometry. Like lolz. Where angles in a triangle do not sum up to 180 degrees. I am the fail D: but I must persist since it's necessary for special relativity. Gah. D:

Then peengpoonged. I suck now. Lost to Cal 2 games. I really should get a bat of my own. Doesn't help switching bats often. >< but yes Cal is really quite pro now. :)

Assembly was CCA profiling. I'm sure they completely omitted my scrabble. -_- that's really, really, really retarded because that's probably where I'll earn the most points. Lolz.

Yep that's really much all that happened today. Bye!
Love is a terrible curse. I'm sorry.

8:07 AM
what hurts the most

Haha DMP today was wacky.

Had Med Phys, Intro to nanotech and Hist DMP today. Med phys was really funny, because we had DMP's with the sec 4s and you can actually see the variation of sec 4 standard. Was owning the class because most of them did not know what E = hf was. Like wth. Whereas if you see, people like Tang Huiyao and Fongus has gone so much further, you have sec 4s that do not even know the elementaries. Hmm.

Hist DMP was quite boring. Taught by Doreen Ang. Yeah well hopefully it'll be more fun the next few lessons (SPORE!)

Intro to nanotech was taught by Jason Tan. Woots! Lol it was really, really fun. Since people were like lost while me and Davin (yes Davin is in the class. Poor Mr tan xD) kept spamming him with questions. Haha. For the quest of knowledge!

And well, our so called study group today was a major failure. Lolz. Ended up talking about random stuff. Really random stuff. ><

Right. Mom shouting. Bye!

4:49 AM
what hurts the most

I have to let go of my pride.

It's killing me, it's killing relationships, it's killing everybody.

And why am I so freaking lazy.

I've forgotten everything I've learnt for maths, so I'm relearning everything.

Yay for Shaun Choo who is back! Now we can finally start doing SS. Which was due on last wednesday xD

Distractions are everywhere now. No, I can't lose focus. I can't.

But never mind, I shall give myself incentive by posting on whatever I will do after EOYS!

1. Peeng Poong
2. Scrabble (WYSC!)
3. Astro! (Sorry for not being able to make it for APAO ><)
4. Making ethanol :D
5. Do more random cooking (experimental food, lol!)
6. VBAlink competition!
7. MANY MORE STUFF THAT I CAN'T THEENK OF NOW xD

Gah I SHALL DO THE MEME QUIZ ANOTHER DAY

BYE!

8:06 AM
what hurts the most

Guess why I didn't come online?

My parents blocked me from the internet. Just because instead of doing maths for four hours I did three.

I totally think that is justified.

Now I'm blocked from the computer, not allowed to go for APAO, and have to face my studies from day to night.

My concentration span at most last me 3 hrs, so how am I supposed to study.

Sigh. The pressure is really getting to me. My fuse is really, really short these days. I have to clutch my arm before I actually destroy something.

And to top it off, I really, really need indifferent parents who are giving me more pressure now.

I'll walk through this alone.

7:58 PM
what hurts the most

Lol. Can you believe this. An indian lady committed suicide because she believed LHC symbolized the end of the world. D:

Argh.

Today was okay I guess, floorball was a bit crazy but yeah.

Then pingponged.

Then came home tired.

Then bye. :D

7:57 AM
what hurts the most

Okay. The LHC just fired ONE proton. I'm impressed -_-

Anyway. Life's getting busy. Pingponged today, and many other random stuff which I can't fit in unfortunately because I'm really busy now. So yep, it's just a filler for the post of the day.

Right, bye!

8:28 AM
what hurts the most

LHC tonight! D:

Lol today apart from getting back my screwed up bio results, 32/40 and my physics CCT and PT, nothing interesting. CCT I got 17/25, which really is unexpectedly high, but yeah >< it still sucks. Then the PT I got 30/30. Lols xD yay it's 35% of CA!

And gah, if I don't die by tonight EOYs will haunt me! ><

Hopefully, nothing bad goes wrong. So that I can do the meme quiz tmr. Or whenever I have time.

Okay, bye! (maybe permanently) x)

8:20 AM
what hurts the most

I reach 225 posts, just as the day draws near.

Sigh.

Today was quite a nice day, although i hated the bio practical session. Lol. Chicken heart dissection. Put me off recess and lunch. I didn't even touch it. xD And yes I was cracking all the lame jokes like, I'm feeling extremely disHEARTened. Lol.

Assembly programme was quite fantastic. Although I must say, waterworks are convincing, but not to skeptics like me. But yeah, it was good.

Then played table tennis for 4.5 hours. My legs are killing me now. Lol. I beat huiyao in one set, somehow. Then he beat me in 3. Gah. I beat Cal, who is constantly improving at a fast rate thanks to Darren, and Nana, who is trying to attitude me as always. Haiz.

Mmm. Yep, that's all.

Hopefully, this is the last night. I can't decide if I should mug for EOYs or not xD

Lol.

7:38 AM
what hurts the most

Hmm. First day of school was quite... random.

Floorball was fun. Okay, playing without my glasses again. But yes, it's so sad that floorball is going to end soon! Augh. ):

Then maths... we had some new teacher, FEMALE (for once!) and she vaguely reminds me of someone I know. And it's quite sad, because my class took advantage of her clueless-ness and ignored her. >< Oh and I think I totally failed math TA. So much for studying.

History... I got back the history CCT marks - 14/20. I think it's an average score in class, but really I think it sucks. I couldn't see the points I missed out. Sigh. I must really organize my points before I write my essay, or I'm going to end up screwing up my EOY. History 4.0 FTW!

Ss... boring. Lol.

Chinese was really weird. Just did more stuff, get back more screwed up results which I shall not bother posting as it may blind you with noobness.

English was okay, where we went through compre which I utterly screwed up in, although I think that there are some questions that are really quite ambiguous. ><

And I spent most of hockey trying to ask Roys what are IVs xD

Oh well, tiring day, bio tmr.

And just 2 days more to the end of the world!
(actually, considering how much stuff I have to face later on, I prefer the end x)

Ah well, bye!
Mature people never say they are mature, for that is an immature thought of arrogance.

7:36 AM
what hurts the most

NoOoOoOoOoOoOo!

School starts tmr! WHICH MEANS EOYS IN 33 DAYS D:

Or rather not, since the EOW (end of the world) is coming! But lets assume it doesn't come now. xD

Let's see. At the end of hols, all I've done is the ENGLISH BLOG, which I think I'm going to screw up this time seeing how much political mistakes I made. Gah. And my SS is quite screwed, seeing we haven't done anything. Shaun Choo overseas, so can't do. Sian.

Lol just now I went to church (hong en invited me for some bilingual service) and yeah it turns out the person giving the speech was my father's old classmate xD so we were listening to his life story and checking the details with my father, lol. But the way he got married is quite funny. This is what he said:

"I liked this girl eventually. Then I never told her I liked her, until one day she came up to me and said 'Remember, some opportunities last only for a short while before disappearing forever'. Then I thought she was referring to me! So yeah I told her that I liked her and asked her out. Now, if my wife was here, she would jump up and exclaim that 'No! I really didn't mean that! I meant something else!'"

Shows how important perspective is! xD

(Btw if you didn't realize, he married the girl who he asked out. Lols)

Ah well. Tmr's maths test is on Geom Proofs. I think I'm gonna die, while Mattie seems quite excited about it. Listen to what he said to me...

"I like to prove-it prove-it".

Lol xD

5:14 AM
what hurts the most

Lol. I feel so sad. The world is going to end in 4 days!

Okay, much spectulation actually.

First, today. Nothing much except for the hockey match, where I played the full game because there were not enough players, and undoubtedly screwed up the entire game as I couldn't see. Right. Sorry guys. Sigh.

Now, to the end of the world!

CERN starts operating the LHC in 4 days. For those who do not know, the LHC stands for the Large Hadron Collider. I shall skip the details, but what it does is involve the clashing of protons travelling at 0.999999 c (C = speed of light), which means it is an extremely fast speed. To approximate how much energy it has, it has the same amount of energy as a tennis ball travelling at 200km/h. And all of that energy is stuffed into that little proton. Yeah. The amount of energy is 7 TeV per proton, so therefore the clashing of both protons will be at 14 TeV. This clash will result in many possible outcomes; however, the end of the world is spectulated by that of the creation of strangelets or micro black holes.

Micro black holes, according to scientists, will be created, but it will only last for 10^-26 seconds before it evaporates due to hawking radiation. However, there is a valid argument stating what if hawking radiation does not work? After all, hawking radiation is purely theoretical, and if it does not work, the world would die. Because once it starts accreting matter, the gravity would exponentially grow and we will all die. >< But perhaps that will happen to the earth in 5 years, some predict a billion.

Strangelets are a different matter altogether. Literally. They are more stable as compared to normal matter, and thus any matter that comes in contact with a strangelet actually turns into a strangelet. Considering this, it's something like a runaway chain reaction - within minutes the earth turns into a huge lump of hot strange matter. However, the LHC may not produce strangelets. Something about the energy level being above 10 TeV, which is the "stable level" for a strangelet.

Sigh...

On the bright side, we won't live to regret it xD

8:54 AM
what hurts the most

Gah.

It's so hard to be politically correct.

Well, today I went shopping. Bought foodstuff. Couldn't find malt barley, zomg. How to make ethanol?! And as usual, the vitamin drink is not sold there. Sigh.

Read up on laser cooling. Quite interesting actually. Hmm... And a bose-einstein condensate sounds cool. No pun intended. Lols.

Meanwhile, I am dying to read Artemis Fowl and the time paradox... pity I couldn't buy it. Had to rush home. Gah.

And school in two days, hmm. Work half completed, if you don't count the SS trailer, which Shaun Choo really needs to get back for...

And countdown, 35 days to EOY. Good game.

7:41 AM
what hurts the most

Boring day today.

Apart from doing a bit of work and playing a bit more I did nothing much.

Oh. And I fried potato chips. Mmm. Quite nice xD

Seems like RI's chinese really pales when in comparison to HCI's and NYGH's.

I must work harder.

And I shall quote another despair.com quote again.

"Failure is when your best is not enough".

7:11 AM
what hurts the most

Haha. Today was quite okay as well.

Davin and Roys came to my house to do projectwork. CLE, if you can believe it. xD basically we planned, then we slacked like some #@!)($*)#@%!@*#()@!*(.

Ah. Here's a nice website where I got some demotivators from.

They are all from this website: http://despair.com



Mmm. Cool way at looking at things.



How true, unfortunately.



This is... fantastic! xD US relay team much...



HAHA xD



Yep. Agreed.



More or less what I've learnt x)



Haha. This is quite funny too.



Birds of a feather flock together...? :D



Lols!



Haha. Therefore I should not give quality work, hmm. :D



Lol. So stereotype. :D

Oh well. All of this is for fun, and hopefully no one persecutes me for moreover reason. xD

Yep! I shall go off now. Bye!

6:10 AM
what hurts the most

Haha today was quite a nice day.

Mainly spent the day playing pingpong with Cal at school (yes, I went to school just to play pingpong. I think I'm so cool. Not) xD

Ah well. Cal improved A LOT. He owned me the first game 1 - 4. Then I came back 4 - 3, 4 - 2, 4 - 0. The reason why I came back was only because I started using fast services. Yep >< otherwise his topspins and slices are really good. To quote Darren, he has "Good ball control". Lol.

Doing projects. Yay. Boo. Whatever.

xD

7:25 AM
what hurts the most

Today was a RANDOM day.

Stoned throughout the entire day. Gah.

Did like, a bit of chinese assessment.

Yeah that's about my day ):

Tmr will play pingpong with CAL! xD

(On a side note: I caught Palkia on my first try, first turn, with a quick ball 0_o)

8:24 AM
what hurts the most

Dinew
15+
RI
RIhockey
RISC
A sad person

Addicted`
Astro
Scrabble
And the many other wonderful things in the world

Allergic`
To put it simply, life

Fears`
Eternal life
Painful death
Failure
Fear

Wishes`
Peace in the world
A life without troubles (yeah right)
To be more self motivated
To be smarter
To be taller
A better self
Luck.

Yoyoyo!

Designer: ♥ Simplel0gic
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Yoyoyo.

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