What hurts the Most

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Today was a jumbled mix of events.

Had hockey training 3 days in a row. All I can say is, I need to work a lot harder. I'm damn weak. My legs are going numb after running and my wrist almost snapped. Need to increase my stamina. Lol maybe I'll go swimming tmr.

Speaking of swimming, I actually planned to go today, but I fell asleep for 4 hours =/

Okay. Training was quite screwed up, as in me. Yeah. I screwed up. We're doing higher level stuff now, and precision is needed. I can get the timing perfectly right, but my mind is hell faster than my body, so yeah it's like I'm always watching myself miss. My body can't keep up with my mind, what do I do. T_T Shitz.

For the rest of the day, it was sleep. Until after dinner.

I just came back from my cousins' house. Lol they gave me like how much free stuff la. I just got an Ipod nano that they didn't want to use anymore. And more other stuff. That's damn cool. But eh. They're otakus. LOL. xD

I wanted to post pics up but am too tired (weird huh).

Anyways I'm quite sad over something else now. No idea why I'm sad, supposed to be long over it.

K, bye.

8:13 AM
what hurts the most

Friday, January 30, 2009

Okay. School today was weird.

It was a boring day with the most boring subjects lined up. HIST HMT SS PHILO. Lol I didn't sleep. Hooray for Bryan who keeps distracting me from sleeping LOL. xD Shiz still can't twirl a pen. =/

Lol and during IYPT, I was thinking.

Imagine if you could use a high speed camera to view your life in slow motion.

How dumb you'd look.

How you realize that all that mistakes you made can be so easily avoided.

How you realize it's always painfully too late.

Ah well.

The impact yesterday still lingers lol. Now I'm pretty conflicted inside.

I don't want to be some guy who cried his way into the team.

I guess I'll have to pick myself up from the ashes and walk bravely into this burning ruins of my life again.

That small path ahead.

Run for it.

6:00 AM
what hurts the most

Thursday, January 29, 2009

OMFG.

I just cried for nothing.

My coach miscounted the number of people, so I'm in. -_-

AHHHHHHH I JUST FUCKING CRIED FOR NOTHING OMG.

But I suppose this means I have to work a lot harder.

God's up there, toying and laughing at me. I know it.

We'll see who gets the last laugh.

5:49 AM
what hurts the most

It's been what, 5 - 6 years?

I cried today.

Really hard.

When I heard I wasn't in the hockey team for B div 09.

I don't know why.

I trained so hard, I gave my 100% in almost all trainings, I even went to training on a sprained ankle and bore with it, I kept improving my own skills so that I wouldn't lose out, and when I heard I wasn't in the team, I just broke down. All that disappointment I had been holding back since sec 2 just rushed out and smacked me hard in the face. I'm such a fucking failure. I couldn't get into RA, I got into such a screwed up class, I couldn't even make the bloody team.

When I asked the TIC why he didn't put me in, he just said if there was one more position, I would be in, and it was only because I'm a midfielder. The other midfields are either DSAs or players within the top 8.

Then I asked about the forward position. Why Michael, who only came for 3 trainings out of 12, got into the team. I am better in skill, definitely. I won't even bother to deny it. Then he told me something that made me even more sad. I can't run as fast as him.

It fucking hurts to know you lose out to people who have advantages over you. No matter how much you train, it just doesn't. Fucking. Matter.

Oh god.

Tomorrow's a new day.

But meanwhile, to fucking hell with the world.

3:39 AM
what hurts the most

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Hmm. I'm very surprised that I didn't fall asleep today.

The lessons were hell boring. I got full marks for my math TA, so did half the level. HOoray. Lol. Then lame joked my way through the day. And lived through physics and RE. Argh. Survival camp much?

Okay. Then the THINKING half of my brain was spent on some other random topic. Yeah. I give my brainless, retarded half to school and use my thinking half for my personal interests. So cool right.

State the difference between crush, infatuation, love.

Infatuation: Doesn't last a heartbeat. It's fickle, yet many people think it's love. Shows the fidelity of people.

Crush: More like, temporal devotion. A crush is something more permanent than infatuation. I think I fall in this category. Currently. My definition of love is a bit strong.

Love: Doesn't matter who the other person is. Trust and devoted. For life.

(Okay, the last part is probably dependent on the strength of the feeling, but let's not delve into that)

Anyway, a crush is just a liking towards a person both dependent or INDEPENDENT of his/her traits. Yes. If you originally thought that was love, you're wrong. The reason why it is not is because if you look ten, twenty years down the road, a crush will not be as strong as love. You don't feel that urge to sacrifice. Maybe sometimes, but not forever. Although you feel the urge to be together. And yes, a crush bloody hurts, that's why people tend to mistake it for love. Lol.

*slaps myself*

Okay back to normal. Can't get too distracted.

Bye.

5:13 AM
what hurts the most

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Lol okay.

Today, my house got VISITED. So yeah, I stayed at home. Was pretty interesting.

Okay two things.

Firstly, I was horribly antisocial. Guess why.

I counted that 80% of my visitors are girls. Yes, this is because I have only female cousins with the exception of two, one of which didn't come. So yes only one male cousin came. And Chew came. And Victor Gwee. That makes umm.... 3 males? Excluding fathers of course. Lol. And a huge spam of females. Sparks antisocialism.

Secondly. I am shocked - or rather amused, by how time changes people. The last time I saw victor's sisters was when I was 9 years old I think. 6 years went by, and LOL they've grown. Uhm. Liwei. You can go for them. I think they're bombshells. Lol. Joking. Anyway. Dammit. People grow so fast =/

Okay randomness: I just remembered attending some class called morris allen english centre when I was p3. It's some (semi-elitist) tuition center that puts the best in one class through some test. Then I got into the best class, and I just remembered something interesting. I was the only guy out of 12 people in the class. You know, it didn't feel like much that time but now when I think about it it's JUST SO OMGWTFBBQ KER-EEPY. Maybe that's why I'm so antisocial now lol.

Lol. No idea, I seem to be like a celebrity amongst my relatives. Damn pressure. HMT O's must get A1. >< AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

OKAY. SCREW THIS SHIT. TIME TO STUDY. I HAVE TO LIVE UP TO EXPECTATIONS.

Oh, and happy NS, liwei (:

Bye.

4:24 AM
what hurts the most

Monday, January 26, 2009

Okay. Today.

Visiting. Nothing much.

Although it was the solar eclipse today! I watched it - At least I saw the peak of the eclipse lol. Was quite a nice experience since I was watching it with the naked eye (yes I know I'm crazy). But it was beautiful. The sun was a myriad of colors. Probably cos of diffraction of light by the moon's particles, but lol. Still nice.

Yep, really nothing much today.

I have such interesting cousins.

Bye.

6:06 AM
what hurts the most

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Lol.

My parents are still bitching in the background.

Happy CNY, everyone.

5:23 AM
what hurts the most

Saturday, January 24, 2009

EHEHEH.

Lol. Today.

Had training in the morning - aiyah, I completely screwed up la. I couldn't even dribble past mason + amirul today fully. I should sleep earlier so that my concentration is better. Lol. But otherwise, I know my fitness is improving inch by inch, and i'll have to do more conditioning soon.

Dammit. CNY = time to lose all my fitness. ):

Lol okay anyawy. Today I went jgcc for the (probably last) training session. Lol. I played 3 games, I won two.

Won against Weibin 550 - 428, lol. Lucky break I suppose, but I spotted a nice bingo on this rack. FHINMU?. Probably won me the game.

Second game won victor gwee since he phonied lol. 440+ to 350+ I think.

Last game... Lost to EDEN. Damn. By 8 points, Alpha says I'd probably played the best endgame, and there was no way I could have won. I was trailing by 80+ pts before emptying the bag lol.

Ah well. It was a great day.

If you didn't spot the bingo in the above rack, it's HAFNIUM. (Check it out on your periodic table, heh)

Back to chinese. Bye.

5:43 AM
what hurts the most

Friday, January 23, 2009

Haha okay today.

CNY talentime concert - I must say, it was rather nice. Except for the quizzing section, where everybody was half sleeping except for the sec 1's. Lol.

The talentime section featured the five houses each putting up a skit for us. Frankly speaking, I think buckley's was definitely the most entertaining. Shien was brilliant at his dancing. Moor's was quite nice as well, if it wasn't so corny. And (okay obviously my own opinion), the breakdancing wasn't as skill or flashy as I expected it to be. But still, an okay job. Could have been better if the curtain wasn't sash white - it made your yellow costumes look bland. Hullett was... okay, the only reason why I'd like hullett's performance is probably because they used jay chou's songs. Lol. Morrison was quite okay, except the side storyline sucked. Lastly, Bayley. I had no idea what they were singing or doing. No offence to any bayley guys who just happen to read my blog, but I really think there isn't much to dispute that bayley was the worst of all the five.

Oh. Another big disappointment. Each house was supposed to get only one prize, and there were no rankings.

Ah well. Then played PP, like you didn't know. Played until 11.30 with chew. Then went home.

Took a proper nap for the first time since school started. OMG. FINALLY LOLZ. Now feeling refreshed :D

Lol.

Why do I, or anybody force myself to pretend to be someone I am not?
Because of F/A.

4:52 AM
what hurts the most

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Eleemosynary's adjective form is eleemosynous.

Okay nvm that, today.

Hmm. Apart from remembering it was a wacky, crazy day, such as celebrating chinese new year during chinese class and eating yu sheng (yes, my chinese teacher wanted the class to get one). Lol. And we made a mess on bryan's table. Wootz xD

Lol I guess my biggest takeaway for today was from my bus ride home. Haha.

Was taking the bus ride home - it really can show a lot about society these days if you decide not to sleep. I was observing the various situations around me, and there were two incidents that struck me pretty deeply.

Firstly, I overhead some NSKs (neighborhood school kids - don't get me wrong, i'm not prejudiced or sth, just referring) talking about sex and HIV loudly in the bus. Well, this may seem normal, but get this. Those kids were P4. Or P5. How would I know? Well they were from my ex-ex-pri sch. So I recognize the uniform, or for the matter the age group. Now. They were talking so loudly that I could hear them from the front of the bus, and they were at the back. Yeah. Shows something wrong? Perhaps.

Secondly, I overheard two girls of my age standing next to me commenting on jc choices. I found out that one of them was my sister's senior. And the other was from njc. This is how the conversation went.

A: What JC will you pick?
B: Hmm. I think either NJC or ACJC la
A: Eh, not aiming for the top schools?
B: Aiyah cannot one la. So hard. I don't even think I can get in NJC or ACJC. If cannot, I go poly.
A: No la, surely can one if you try!
B: Eh even if I really get that high, I wouldn't want to go RJC or HCJC
A: Why?
B: RJC so stress, go in there I think can faint alr. (Note: She says this not noticing that I'm wearing the RI PE shirt.)
A: Yah. True. I think even HCJC is less stress than RJC. So mugger.

Sigh. What's with this. Stress? More like time management. If you don't set a motivation to do something within a frame of time, how can you blame it as stress? Naturally, humans are not 100% efficient, but stress is a byproduct of poor time management. Although yes, I do agree in RJC you have to study quite a bit more than in other JC's, but it's the same if you want to excel in any of them.

Lol. Now I shall go on to briefly summarizing today's hockey training.

My fitness is screwed up to P4 level. Hooray. *cheers*

All I could rely on during this training was my senses and my brain. They served me well. Lol. But without stamina, my body didn't move the way I wanted it to most of the time, and I couldn't get past people consistently (even though I managed to break through many one on twos). And Wai Choong is really a fast defender. I need to be as committed as him. Or as fit. Lol. Never got past him.

Eh okay apart from that, I think sitting with bryan is damn cool. Make lame jokes all the time. Having a good laugh. Being Humerus (lol, bio lame joke made in bio). Can't remember them all, only remembered this from CLE.

We were doing goal setting, like short term (2009), medium term (3 - 5 years later) and long term (10 years later) goals. Lol so I was saying.

Me: Hey bryan. Wanna hear my goals?
B: Okay sure, lamo.
Me: My medium term goal is to be able to drive.
B: Wow dewin. So pro.
Me: Eh wait, must hear my long term goal also.
B: What?
Me: Long term goal : to be able to drink drive.

Lolz. Okay. Time for me to finish up my math worksheet.

Bye.

5:10 AM
what hurts the most

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Today.

I'm finding it hard to be normal.

Yes, yes I know. Normalcy is an illusion.

Okay. I'm finding it hard to be retarded.

I feel it's very hard to get along with my class now. It's like everyone is so much slower than me. And it's not because I'm more academically talented than them, it's mainly because I'm starting to put in effort. Then, people will have grudges against you. They get jealous. They get pissed. They gang up against you and make you feel alienated. That's okay, but too much is a bit irritating. Lol if it weren't for my ankle and my hamstring muscle I may have started fighting by now. I'm getting VERY irritable. No idea why.

Somehow I feel my life still lies in a RA class. And the J1's. Even the people in my class that are close to me are starting to alienate me. Not that I can blame them, but is that the price of trying to work harder? Is that the price of trying to make a change for the better?

PE lesson today was a joke. I kicked a soccer ball up to the second level and had to retrieve it. When I was aiming for a grounder. I should stop using my left. All power 0% accuracy. Naturally, it was a laugh. I'll have to work harder on everything if I want to excel. Took me 15, bloody years of my life to learn that there isn't a shortcut.

Sigh. Why am I even rambling stuff like this. It's so depressing.

Lol okay. I learnt a new word today. Eleemosynary - something with the connotations of generous. Hmm. I wonder if I can say "_____ is an eleemosynarious person". Is that right? Argh. My english sucks.

Chinese duzhe test was a big failure. Why did I mention it ):

With the insanity and tedium of school life setting in, hopefully I won't stray from my intended goals, especially the A1 for chinese.

OH GOD DAMMIT.

5:46 AM
what hurts the most

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Lol. Hmm this is my 351th post. Coming to a year soon.

Today.

Why am I so tired in class. I'm sleeping at 11.30, earlier than 12 for goodness sake. Training? Maybe. Or maybe I'm pushing myself too hard, but I think that's bullshit. I'm slacking like shit lol.

Heheh. IYPT today was really fun. Playing with fire. Literally. Don't ever pour water on burning wax. You get an explosion. And I think we cracked like, 5 glass plates of the science labs by heating =/ Lolz. Lucky we don't have to pay for them xD quite scary when they crack though. Erpz.

Math TA today was just... dotz. IF my math teacher doesn't mind my working, I'll get full marks. Lol. My math teacher is... just can't teach la. Zzz.

Tired.

Must persevere through this dredge though.

5:29 AM
what hurts the most

Monday, January 19, 2009

Hmm. Today.

Am quite pissed off by my mom now, but I'll try to cool down.

Okay. Lessons.

As usual, boring stuff. Nothing much to talk about.

Training was quite okay, but my fitness sucks. Lol. I really must go run more. And probably correct my running posture.

Btw. Another guy from RI dies. Acute myeloid leukemia.

It's really saddening isn't it. He was top in form for geog, and just returned from OBS. (Yeah, he's sec 3).

Here's my condolences to his family, and it really pains me to know another Rafflesian has just died.

What the hell is this world becoming.

5:01 AM
what hurts the most

Sunday, January 18, 2009

OMG.

I just finished watching some anime called "Aoki Densetsu Shoot" (Don't ask me why I have time to watch, lol. The curriculum is just slow). I must say, I'm touched. That beautiful euphoria as the show came to an end. And that slowly permeating sadness. A beautiful shounen story.

Kinda shows how I'm no longer immune to Jap propaganda, but then again it's a beautiful piece of work. Well done, whoever the artist is! (:

Okay. Today.

Did a bit of math, chinese and physics revision (although physics I was just blankly looking at the wall and picturing problems, lol), and also attended busy bees. Eh. Kinda got the hang of chinese already. Must start comprehending though. It's my weakness to assume too much since (in all modesty) I have a wide knowledge range and whenever I see a topic I'm familiar with I write answers that aren't derivable from the passage. Argh.

Okay, does it sound muggerish? Fear not. I think I only spent about 1 or 2 hours max in total for the above (excluding busybees). I spent the rest of the time watching anime and playing scrabble. =P Lol. Enjoy life while I'm still free xD

Then again, it sounds no life. I should go out soon =/

Lol now I shall move on to the emo topic I was talking about yesterday which I finally decide to post.

Friendship - what is the point of it? [10 marks]

(I'll probably fail it. *Laughs*)

I've been wondering how to describe friendships. As I observe almost everywhere, I feel sadder and sadder. Friendships today are like fireworks. A sudden, beautiful burst of emotions, like a myriad of colors, but short-lived, fading out after a few moments. It's so painful to breathe at those moments isn't it? (Okay that comment was random). Yeah. In today's context, I believe friendships are like fireworks. Everyone looking at this statement would instantly deny it, but just ask yourselves, how many of you have made a friend, then neglected him/her after a while once you find other friends? Or at least, lessened in your intensity of contact towards that friend?

Those who say no, you guys are absolute liars. Either that or you're some arrogant, pigheaded person. I'm sorry, but I really feel very strongly about this. It's a bad thing all of us do. It's just like my post back then on sacrifice - the more friends you have, the less attention you can pay to each one. It's really sad, isn't it?

Then there's this thing about "keeping in touch". How many of us actually keep in touch without some ulterior motive? On MSN, when I go online, I'll recieve maybe 2 or 3 messages, saying: "eh can help me with blahblahblah". Is that what people are for? Maybe they are. An eye for an eye, you give me this before I'll give you that. It's all primitive, down to the very simple psychological foundation that is within all living things. Don't do something unless you gain out of it.

It's really painful when I strip the word friendship down to its psychological roots, but yeah I rather this facade to stop then continue to harm the many people out there who feel like me. People who are abused by their "friends" only as a source of information.

Then again, who am I to judge?

Argh okay I'm just putting my trail of thoughts down. I keep coming to the conclusion that humans suck. Lol.

Why are we tainting everyone around us with this disgusting weave of lies?

Bye ):

5:17 AM
what hurts the most

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Lol okay today.

Woke up early on a SATURDAY to play hockey with a SPRAINED ANKLE! Wheeeeee!

Oh well. It went quite okay, apart from the fact that I can't run FAST. And I screwed up in one big opportunity in the match... let my instincts get hold of me before I thought. I ran to space, got a clear pass and no one was marking me. But due to my experience (or inexperience), I did a flash sweep once I saw the ground in front of me (I was at the top of the semicircle) and aimed to the right. But it went wide. Argh. I neglected to look at the goal's positioning - since I went to go setup the goal, I should have remembered we placed it slightly off center. But I think my eye speed coordination is getting better, which is a good thing.

Oh. I heard ewan sprained his ankle playing soccer yesterday after IYPT. Get better soon Ewan! Own the field, lol.

Eh apart from that, nothing much.

Wanted to post some emo topic up that has been lingering in my mind quite a while but apparently no time now. Parents. =/

So yeah, bye for now.

4:59 AM
what hurts the most

Friday, January 16, 2009

Ah okay today.

Hmm. It was rather hard to walk with a sprained ankle all day, but I guess I managed it. Thanks to leeni's advice. Lol.

"Just run with your sprained ankle. Sure can one."

Lolololol. I suppose it's something to do with the ankle strengthening and hyper-muscling or whatever it's called. But I think I can go to tmr's training lol. :D

Okay, apart from that.

I'm way too sleepy in class these days. It bores me. I think I better a) sleep earlier, b) stop going in advance of the class.

Okay. I'll pick a. For the time being.

Ah well. Nothing much today, hopefully things will get interesting soon.

Cya!

6:40 AM
what hurts the most

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Hahaha. I have so many things to post today.

The BAD side of today.

Firstly, my 2.4. My fitness SUCKS. I don't know how to describe it, but I ran 2.4 in 13.05. That's bullshit. Even on my first attempt in sec 1 I did 12.20 pls. My will is gone, and I walk an entire lap. I SUCKZ. WTHHHHHHH LA.

Second. I kept falling asleep during class. I nodded off during bio, while copying notes. Yes. I was copying notes with my eyes closed. Lol. Then in the end I woke up finding scribbles on my notebook. Haha xD Ah well at least I got the knowledge. Sleeping + listening in class = ftw xD

Lastly. Hmm. Someone is going to get guilty here :D

Lol. Had hockey training today, was doing quite well. Then, I kena whacked on the toe by Chooey's imba ggxxskillz then my toenail cracked. A bit. Ah well. Then we continued playing, and I TRIPPED OVER HIM, AND SPRAINED MY ANKLE. Lol. Owch. Now I can't walk properly =/ lol don't worry Choo, next time I'll be more careful. Hopefully this doesn't affect my chance of getting into season though. Although I know my fitness will take another steep dive. Ahh screw it.

Okay. Now. The GOOD, FUN side.

Argh. Okay. My dad's rushing me off the com, so I shall just post the lame jokes. They were the ones that were nice anyway.

Okay. Joylim was trying to make kenneth lim quiet.

Jlim: Kenneth, can you please keep quiet
Kenneth: eh mam I very quiet mah
Jlim: Haiyo kenneth, how can like that, can you turn into a leaf

(She tried to say turn over a new leaf, but obviously failed xD)

Okay then. Now for short lame jokes.

What animal has gynephobia (fear of girls)?
A: Eagle (Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, girl)

What is another name for Ironman?
A: Fe-male!

What kind of deer is blind?
A: No idea! (no eye deer)

Lastly, a joke for someone like alpha. A bit vulgar, so yeah just highlight it if you want to see it.

What did the penis say to the condoms?
A: Cover me guys, I'm going in!

Lol k, going off now byes :D

6:12 AM
what hurts the most

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Eheheh.

Today. Found out something pretty shocking. Charis Low is top scorer in PLMGS. Lolololol then she trick me and say get 14 pts. Wa lao. Gratz lol hope you get into RJ! (:

Oh yeah, and the O levels for chinese. Hmm. Won't post the statistics on my blog, but gratz to huiyao on getting A1. Argh.

All the more motivation for me to follow in their footsteps.

Lol. Better start studying chinese. I don't want to lose out.

Hmm okay anyway. TOday. Physics class... I skipped it. The teacher let me, to study on my own in the project corner LOL. In the end I went to study something out of syllabus until I realized it was too difficult for sec 4 standard lol. So yeah, technically i wasted that period xD Chem was just retarded, since we knew most of the stuff already (as in, the usual people like davin bryan roys me etc.) so yeah Jtan just gave us the next lesson's worksheets to complete. And I'm saving them for math tomorrow. Math, on the other hand, is pathetic lol. DOn't even want to talk about it.

Then after school played table tennis with the J1's! Yeah it's been 2 months, and wtf all of them hardcore train pingpong lol. Dammit! I'll catch up on that too, heheh :D

Mm. I suppose I better pull myself ahead before the tedium of school sets in. Already signs are showing - portfolio. Wth. 100+ pages lol.

Ah well. All the best to the J1's! (: I'm rushing off the com now, so yeah bye :D

7:22 AM
what hurts the most

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Haha. Just finished training session with alpha.

Okay, but before that, school.

School was boring. I was doing phys in eng, phys in chinese and math in physics. That's how boring the day was. Eh btw, does anyone have college physics? LEND/ SELL me i need it. I have been living without a bio and a physics textbook for 3 years running, wootz. xD

Okay, before I forget this uber hilarious convo.

-stares at rack on ISC-
me: CEEINOT. There's a floating R, so...
Liwei: hrmmm (he knows it, but don't want to say.
Me: Lol, ERECTION
Liwei: Yeah, NEOTERIC also
Me: Eh ERECTION better can play at two places
Liwei: Yeah of course, how can you block an ERECTION?

Obviously, he didn't intend that, that's why it's funny.

Right. Obviously I'm not a very chronological person, since I have decided to mention the part of Liwei coming to my house now. He comes to my house to train me in scrabble (since he's bored after A's, lol).

Okay, basically nothing much happened, I just realized I suck like some shit, figured out what's wrong with my playing style. Apparently, it's just like a noober version of quackle SPEEDY player. Fish like hell, but miss bingo moves. Hence, me = noob. A lot to catch up, with A divvers I guess. Was a fun day.

Lol. Then coz of *ahem* Eden *ahem* and his *ahem* love problems *ahem*, I talked with alpha over quite a lot of stuff, like how girls are like in jc etc. Turns out it's pretty practical, aka you don't do something without an agenda. Kinda like me now, so it's pretty much a individualistically oriented academia period.

Oh, and I don't know why, but I just can't resist saying this: The modernization of the world has brought a complete alteration of the word, or feeling "love". Love is all about trust, and nowadays, with technology, who the hell trusts anyone. The only existing thing now is infatuation, and everyone thinks that's love. True, he/she may be hard to get out of your head, you may not like his/her for looks but character instead, but love is also about your willingness to sacrifice. Perhaps love does exist in modern society, but it's all so shallow. Pathetically shallow.

The misuse of the word makes me want to like, cry and smash something in the process. It's extremely irritating and degrading of the concept itself. There's a saying that love is bittersweet - it's more than that, it's bittersweetspicysourchocolatefudgeylemonkimchi flavored. Something inexplicable until you understood both sides of what love can do - heal a heart, or break one.

Eh okay whatever, just being philosophical again. But I really am quite disappointed with adolescents these days.

Okay, apart from that, I heard the O level results were quite bad. All the more motivation for me to buck up.

Academia and sports, here I come!

4:54 AM
what hurts the most

Monday, January 12, 2009

Eh today.

Back to school.

You know, I keep looking at my syllabus, and tell myself what the hell have I been doing last year. Mol concept is bloody easy. Physics is... dotz. Math is easy as well. And I screwed them up. WTF??? No more screw ups. Must keep on going!

Lol. I actually got 25/30 for oral diagnostic. Something I wrote during lunch time. That's pretty cool :D But maybe on second thoughts, TKY is too lenient. Haiz.

Hockey... definitely need to improve my footwork. After taking glucosamine (lol sounds like a drug), my joints are feeling way better :D lol yesssss. Time to work hard!

It's time for all of us to wake up, and start this final race.

Chinese O's, watch out. I'll own you.

5:50 AM
what hurts the most

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Today. Heh.

Nothing much. Decided to go back to viwawa for a while, and found there was chinese chess o_0. Lol so far 24 wins 0 losses. Quite a feat, though I must say I'm quite rusty. Without playing with imba people like chew I think I've slackened. =/

Then also, more or less, finished the chapter of pressure. Did the O level assessment book already - I must say it is quite useful. In fact, its brilliant! Lol. Now I suppose I should move on to electricity. I suck at it lol.

Okay. Busy bees class. The only thing i went out for today. Hmm. Tried to take on a positive attitude towards chinese xD it went okay I guess. Guess who's in my class! Snao (Shao wei, the nyps one) and Chern Hwee. Lol. *laughs* Well at least the teacher is quite okay, but the class is hilarious. As in, you should hear them when the teacher asks us to read a passage. It sounds worse than a broken tape recorder... cos it's creepy as well xD Lololololololol.

Screw my right knee, I'm praying I don't wake up tomorrow half paralyzed. My knee is hell screwed. Better go kope some glucosamine soon. Haven't bought it, though I've been eating my fish :D

Okay, here's a random note to all those out there who like salmon sashimi (raw).

The freshest are always the dark red ones. Always eat with wasabi for germ killing purposes. However, ensure they are fresh, or they will give you hell. Really.

As for cooking them...

It is best to cook them in slabs. Take a good look at salmon meat - you should be able to see it is striped white in color. The white stripes are actually adipose tissue, lol. Yes, they're fats :D So DON'T EVER SLICE INTO PIECES AND COOK. Or else you'll end up with what I got... the fat melting and then solidifying into a chunk at the side. Eww =/

Just something I thought I'd share (:

Right, byes!

5:27 AM
what hurts the most

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Heh.

Lol today went for training early in the morning. All i can say is, I'm learning much more, but my fitness sucks like some shit. DAMMIT. Footwork. DAMMIT. DAMMIT!!! lol. Yeah but it was fun. For once.

Okay. I suppose the rest of the day is pretty boring.

Random note: salmon is pretty hard to cook. =/ It's better raw!

Lol okay, bye.

5:31 AM
what hurts the most

Friday, January 9, 2009

Another busy day.

Lessons aside, I suppose the only thing worth mentioning would be raffles trail.

FYI, raffles trail is the introduction of core CCA's to the sec ones. Each CCA will have a booth to showcase their cca. Naturally, its members must help out.

Lol. For most of the time spent to prepare, we played floorball in class xD. Yay I can do 1 airhook. Hooray. I feel so accomplished. Lol. Ah well. Fun fun fun, although I got several injuries from Kevin (cuts and bruises) since he's damn violent and doesn't bother to stop or correct his smashing and hit me like, 4 times. Zzz.

Okay, apart from that, the first week of school was quite a pathetic one. I don't even feel like part of the class anymore, and to be honest lessons are damn boring when you're being slowed down by the class. I suppose I could make use of these times to catch up with the imbas lol.

Right, sleeping early since there's training tmr. Bye!

5:45 AM
what hurts the most

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Hmm.

Okay, quite a number of things happened today.

CEC: eventually Yuet Cheong, Royston and Theodore became CEC. Anyway. No idea why my form teacher decided to nominate me, since I know I'm quite unpopular compared to the likes of them. Hmm. Anyway, my hands are off.

Science club exco meeting: Hilarious. What else can I say.

Hockey: Today met our new coach, Jude Felix. He's quite a good coach... I think even after one day I've improved considerably. Lol. And my new hockey TIC who's a fitness and nutrition expert says my knee problem comes from not having enough omega 3. Yep, you guessed it (or maybe not), I'm not eating enough FISH. LOL. And now, since my problem is so serious, he suggests me to go for glucosamine, some joint healing supplement. Ugh. Oh well.

Okay. Chinese lesson. (note that this post is absolutely not adhering to chronological order, but I'm just recalling stuff)

Zhang Ai Ling was a brilliant writer. Her writings were mainly that of bitter, sad love. Personally, that's what I find so nice about her writing. My favourite is probably "red rose and white rose". It's really intriguing. This is the summary:

In the life of a man, he'll like two kinds of women.
The red rose, or the white rose.

The red rose symbolizes the outgoing, daring personality
While the white rose symbolizes purity and composure.

If he chooses the red rose
Ten years will pass, and the red rose will be nothing but a thorn in the neck
While the white rose he did not choose would be like the radiant moonlight

If he chooses the white rose
Ten years will pass, and the white rose will become nothing but a grain of rice
While the red rose he did not choose would be a brilliant, shiny ruby.

Hmm. It's really quite true.

In modern day context, I would say that just about every 9/10 girls in singapore are/ aspires to be the red rose. It really, really is a pain in the neck. Fyi, there has been a more apt, unsubtle translation of "Red rose and white rose". It is "the whore and the lady".

Westernization destroys conservation. Something worth crying over, really. Since I realized that's partly why I missed OIP korea so much.

Ah well. So much for my rambling. I have to go do my stuff proper now.

Good. Game.

5:44 AM
what hurts the most

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

TOday.

Lol. I dunno how many times I've resisted my utter urge to punch bryce and kenneth lim. Truthfully speaking, the only thing that's stopping me is the fear of breaking something. Hmm.

Anyway, school's getting more interesting. Physics we're starting on pressure, chem still revision though.

Royston is scary as usual. Full marks for english diagnostic test. I got really, really low. I have to catch up. Improve my chinese at the same time.

There are some places where I cannot reach without talent, but for those where I can reach, I will reach.

So bring on the rain.

Bring on the thunder.

5:04 AM
what hurts the most

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Lol. Today.

First day of lessons.

History was okay, some teacher called valerie keh. Rhyme not intentional. She's quite an okay teacher I suppose, except that we have to copy all our notes down. No printed ones. lol.

Bio... started on nervous system already. So far so good. Half the class in chaos though.

Math... LOL. My current teacher is screwed up. But this year's math programme looks tough. Erpz.

Chinese. Got the same teacher as last year, dunno happy or sad. Really nice teacher, but too nice =/ Ah well.

Then had an interesting assembly talk, then played table tennis till 4 and went home.

Note that I'm rushing my post thanks to homework.

Bye!

5:44 AM
what hurts the most

Monday, January 5, 2009

Ah today.

Okay, the ECP thing was actually quite okay. We made quite nice sandcastles/pyramids lol.

On the way there, I played bridge with Kuan, Bryan and Boss. Lol. They decided to be evil after the first 2 rounds, then keep making me lose. So yeah, they each person sacrifice once and then bid 7 no trump LOL. I won it somehow... once. Was super happy lol. Winning a 7 notrump game is damn imba. And my cards weren't even that good lol, just had 2 aces. Hooray! xD

Okay, lame jokes...

Joel Ling: Wah the sun so hot, I think even my feet getting sunburn liao
Me: Lol. Sounds like sandburn. (this is supposed to sound lame)
Joel: haha funny. Lol whole body sunburn la.
Me: Lolololol. Hips get sideburns, yeah.

xD

Okay, that's pretty much it.

Dammit the psls all having fun at sch -_-

Bye!

5:39 AM
what hurts the most

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Lol. Today. Utterly boring.

Since there is a lack of homework, my mom bombards me with assessments. Chinese. I do them at a snail's pace. I fall asleep. Etc. Boring.

Then went to Hong En's church (again) for bilingual service. Had another inspirational amusing talk. Then ate dinner and here am I typing away.

Bored.

Oh yeah, was learning a new piano piece as well. Maybe will post it up by end of this month seeing i'm so slow =/

BOOOOOOOOOOOOORED. And we're going to ECP to build sandcastles tmr, wth.

Bye =/

5:14 AM
what hurts the most

Friday, January 2, 2009

Aha. Finally. Lol I've decided to post it up =/

River Flows in You - a nice song (not so nice playing though)

P.s. the background noise is all by my stupid dog who was hungry and kept tugging my leg =/

8:37 PM
what hurts the most

Okay. First day of school.

There was a LAST MINUTE SWAP of form teachers, hence now my form teacher is some much nicer teacher called Tang Keen Yeen. Hooray! :D

Oh, and my headmistress seems like a nice person. Hooray for that too :D

Okay, apart from that, nothing much. The canteen food prices have gone UP. ARGH.

Now on USAYPT - the team is out.

Daniel Lim (JC1), Jie Liang (JC1), Kewei (4F), Yeo Jie (3I)

Okay, I understand the first 3, but Yeo Jie is the only one I don't get. He didn't speak during the presentation at all, and didn't ask questions too, but he got in. I mean, it's understandable if someone like Ewan or Yao Yuan got in, since they did presentation, but then someone who didn't talk or question got in. Yeo Jie, if you happen to be reading this, I'm not questioning your ability, I know it's way better than mine and you're definitely someone who can qualify for this. However, I'm questioning more of the way they select the team, since they seemingly claim that it was from the "oral presentation". Sigh.

Oh well. You take some, you lose some.

Screw life.

6:22 AM
what hurts the most

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Hmm. Today.

Finished my chinese project whee :D

Apart from that, been playing the piano.

YIRUMA IS A GODLIKE COMPOSER!

Lol I'm sure they used "river flows in you" as bella's lullaby in twilight. Utterly disgraceful. A beautiful song tarnished with the lousy name of twilight. Yucks.

My FT is Rosie Smith. Like omgwtfbbq O: i'm SCREWED! Fiercest teacher in the entire of RI. Oh. Gawd.

Hmm. It's school again tmr. Which, as stacey says, marks the last "first day" of my RI (S) career.

It's been so fast hasn't it? It seemed like just yesterday. Everything seemed like just yesterday. I've come a long way from being a junior to a senior now.

The last year.

No (more) regrets.

5:04 AM
what hurts the most