Tuesday, February 17, 2009
MOVED.Ask me on msn if you want to know my new blog address ;)
385th post, this blog ends.
4:25 AM
what hurts the most
Monday, February 16, 2009
Lol. I miss 2L, and the people inside it.
Leeni read my blogposts last night. He didn't get offended. Instead, he tried to understand my way of thinking, before slowly refuting my arguments. And he brought down his point on why my theory is not 100% correct, by focusing on the grey areas of life. And next, he brings in his belief, and we both come to consensus that both parties have reasonable theories but some flaws here and there.
I really respect Leeni. You'll go far in life with that attitude man (:
But then again, I'm in 4P. I cannot change that fact. As people change, I must change. One who is not able to adapt to surroundings quickly enough will go extinct. I can no longer have the privillege of free speech and intellectual discussions of that level. I have to be more resilent. I have to be more magnaminous. I have to be more like Leeni, in a sense.
Haiz.
Today wasn't as bad as I thought. Although it was quite obvious that people tried to avoid me, I held my temper. And blasted it on VS xD LOL. Sheesh. I got 4/9 for my math test. It turns out that there are WHAT THE HECK 5 answer marks, and because of my first error, they fail me. That's retarded. RI math papers value ANSWERS over METHOD. Wtf la. VS can't explain ANYTHING for nuts.
Oh well. And physics quiz I got a 9/10. Expected, but definitely not happy. I was careless. I had 10+ 7 more minutes to check and I didn't try to work it out again. I went home to check and found out area does cancel out in the formulas. Haiz. Now I'm one mark behind roys. Dang.
Lol during lunch, Vincent said something funny. I was commenting on how the principal's voice broke since I have never heard a girl zhao xia before. Maybe she had a sore throat or was dehydrated, but uhm... was just quite surprised la. Then Vincent said:
"Girls don't break voices, they break hearts".
Damn cool xD
Anyway. The match today was postponed with 9 minutes left. Dotz. Due to lightning and thunder. Everyone played quite badly again. Yeah, partially it was because of the weather. It was a sunshower, so the entire field became like a sauna. A freaking warm, humid sauna. But nevertheless, we could have run faster than that. We are tougher than that. We siege and destroy. For the championship we'd walk through fire and ice as a team, so why give up now? Common Raffles Hockey Warriors DeathlaZers!
Lol okay dinner, and that's about it for today. Cya!
1:59 AM
what hurts the most
Sunday, February 15, 2009
I feel amused.
Yudder just called me a galileo.
"what you said is true, but it's uncomfortable. So people ostracize you"
I suppose it really is uncomfortable eh.
But thanks Yudder. For thinking about it thoroughly before starting to hate me for whatever I've done.
Nevertheless, I still owe an apology to everyone. Because there are some things that were never meant to be said. The big difference between me and a genius is that a genius knows how to keep his mouth shut. I don't. I still have much to learn.
There is another follow up by Yudder though.
"but i'd like to think that there is at least a part in friendship played by emotion
that u geniunely like the guy, so you hang out with him"
We all need that abstract part of life. For the truth is too painful.
Yudder is wise (:
I don't know why I decided to put up this topic even. Testing the waters of friendship? Releasing the pressure? Hmm.
Ah well. Today.
Was a pretty packed day. I went out for a random lunch. Then went busy bees. Sharon's in the earlier class, wtf? Okay random. Next. I got 36/70 for my compo. PASS!! xD Lol nah it's still bad. But on the good side, I'm writing faster, and my compos are always hitting 1.5k words now. Heheh (:
Oh. And I didn't know that one's fitness potential could be measured o_0. I suppose mine would either be very low or very high, since my oxygen intake has to be super efficient with my sinus around. My nose is like, half blocked all the time lol. But then again, I'm perma fat. =/
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Screw this. I'll have to face the consequences of my actions tmr. Chem lab for period 1. DIE.
4:20 AM
what hurts the most
Saturday, February 14, 2009
I'll do one final closure post on this.
My theory spans from Darwin's theory of evolution. Darwin says "Survival of the fit enough". Since the first ecological system has been created, organisms, species all have lived by this rule, and one of the main integral rule behind the theory is that one does not do an action that does not benefit oneself knowingly. Which means, as I said, motive-action must result always in a gain (in one's knowledge). This is a basic biological rule for any species that continue to live on the face of this Earth.
However, with the modernization of society, this evident fact of survival of the fit enough has been clouded by abstract terms, pulled the hood over our eyes. We believe that this kind of thinking is primitive, this kind of thinking is uncivilized, and we who do not believe in this are modern men. However, there are so many traces of it evidently shown around the world. Politicians fire at each other. At work, people vie for the top positions. In school, people fight for the various accolades. Am I not right to say that the basic principles are still living within each of us, deep within our subconscious?
There is no denying that our modern, abstract term of "friendship" has value. It is something worth understanding, something worth caring about. But what I have experienced may have been different from you guys. I have been through so much backstabbing here and there that I have delved deeper on understanding betrayal. And hence, I have come to the conclusion that friendship is merely something that has arisen from Darwin's theory of mutualism. It is another layer of mutualism, with much more complex systems, but then it is still mutualism.
This also means I've been thinking myself as an investment by you guys. Now. Investment. How many of you people out there dare say that your parents are raising you not because you're an investment to them? How many of your parents say that when you grow up, you'll have to take care of them? We, in our subconscious minds, view everyone as investments. Likewise, others view us as investments as well.
To view the world like this was a lot of pain for me. It made me think that humans were no different from animals. All we have done was just to pull abstract terms underneath those defining layers of human society. However, it made sense. It made me understand why everyone did what they did. Whenever I am punished, I know it is because I was not a suitable investment. I did not meet up to expectations. I posed as a threat. And that was also my motivation to continue improving myself so that I was a useful enough investment.
I'll end this post with something everyone should think about.
How many lies are our society built upon?
Why do we seek the truth in our lives, but when we find out the truth, we choose to shun it away?
Is it that hard to accept the fact that life is like this and live normally?
11:16 PM
what hurts the most
Okay Davin. This post solely refutes your arguments, and my apologies for being insensitive. And clarifies further.
Uhm before you read all these, I would like to apologize first, before you try to see the reason in whatever I'm going to say. It never helps when you look at reasoning with a closed heart ><.
You say friends are there to carry out each other's burden. Exactly my point. That is mutualism. You have friends to alleviate your problems. At the same time, you alleviate your friend's problems. That is an exchange. The net loss in this equation is definitely on one side. The only reason why you do not see the loss is because there is firm belief that both sides are having a win-win situation, where in actual fact there can never be one. Benefits are always never equal in a long measure.
You don't have to talk to the RA people. That's where your own personality lies. That is completely irrelevant, since you are a guy who knows you can do it on your own and always try to work it out. But then, if you do not know how to solve some things, do you not ask people who are smarter than you? Isn't that a motive itself?
As I said before, you will never do something that does not have an underlying motive, be it consciously or subconsciously. Donating to charity may seem to be charitable, but your motive may be to alleviate your own guilt for not donating. That, by itself is a motive.
And further more, you sure you've never neglected your friends? Have you ever experienced yourself continually talking to one friend all of a sudden, but as time passes you talk less and less to him/her? That is because you find yourself having less and less purpose to chat with him/her, no? Isn't that another motive-action example?
You can always read up on Darwin's theory of evolution. I got almost half the basis of my idea from there. It fits perfectly.
The thing is, guys, I'm sorry if I've offended you guys by using the word "investment" - I realize it is quite extremist to objectify people, to regard people as individual units. But all I can say is, my thinking of the word investments is very different from you guys. Investments to me are things that are important, and they cannot be neglected. They have to be understood well, they have to be taken care of, they must be acknowledged as an integral part in this conglomeration of life. Investments, to me, are not just objects, but what my life is and probably will depend on in the near future. I cannot do without them.
The reason I use that word is because when I've thought through these topics in sec 2, I was really, really upset. It doesn't help when the people beside you betray you like half the time and then keep smiling at you in class (like some teachers and classmates). It just felt like sometimes when I was needed, I was called up. Otherwise I was just ignored. That was how my entire analogy came about. It gave me a more systematic way to view life, as well as accept how people thought, what they did, and calmed me down. It always helped me when I looked at the big picture. It was a clear way to view life, as compared to an abstract. Remember. People are always seeking to find the order in chaos. So why can't I find the order in my chaotic life? That is the answer I have found.
I'm really sorry to everyone who I have disappointed or upset. But this is how my life has evolved, I have strong beliefs, and I cannot be abstract. I have clearly defined a path of life that has fit perfectly into my calculations, and I have not gone wrong yet. That is where the foundation of my faith comes from. The prediction of human behaviour by observing trends.
Once again, I apologize, but this is my belief. If there's anything you want to blame it on, just blame it on my background. Helps a lot.
Oh yeah, and anon. Define success. I haven't had a single failure with this theory of mine yet. I am not establishing selfishness. As I said, it may seem selfish, but in actual fact it is just however you live your lives, just laid out, stripped bare, with all the abstracts removed and the main infrastructure remaining. And yeah, my apologies to you too.
(Oh and Davin. Some other guy in class thinks almost the same way as me. Would you oust him too?)
Okay anyway, I think I've posted enough of this topic. Now onto today.
THE PIANO AT RGS SUCKS. THE F SHARP KEY TWO OCTAVES FROM THE BOTTOM IS STUCK. -_-" the sound is damn weird, lol.
IYA meeting was draggy. We were late, and it dragged on. I guess my slides weren't prepared that well after all. Hmm.
Okay I think I should really skip whatever happened at vivo. It's... just weird. Lol.
Hmm apart from that,
Happy valentine's day.
6:28 AM
what hurts the most
Friday, February 13, 2009
Lol anyway here's just a clarification of my post yesterday.
I'm not saying that only I do it. Everybody does it subconsciously. Davin, if you don't, then tell me the reason why you avoid from talking to people like Kenneth Lim. It's because he will be more of a burden than help. And the only reason you'll teach him will be because subconsciously, you know that doing so will refresh your memory, and at the same time appear helpful. Lol you may say that you don't do it consciously, but subconsciously you'll do it. We aren't on the top of the food chain by doing things that have no benefit to us you know. Every action must be beneficial, simply speaking a give and return thing.
And it's not a bad thing. Looking at relationships as investments are never bad, since they're true anyway. They're just very direct, something which people like to shun away from. You can keep lying to yourself, but if you can find a situation where you do something not for a return effect, just tell me. I'll refute everything. You can't go against a law of nature that has brought you to where you are today.
Okay anyway, probably will post later. Have to go to RGS to do my stupid IYA presentation now. Cya.
8:08 PM
what hurts the most
Today was a pretty eventful day.
Morning had history test. Was quite okay. I guess. Should be able to 4.0 it.
Then assembly was just fail. I suppose it was entertaining though.
SS was quite okay. The UN are quite an upset, considering the amount of money spent on them.
Philo was just weird. Weird.
Okay. So after school.
Raffles trail for science club. Was pretty much a blast. Super fun lol. The sec 1's damn funny.
Then went for the RJ astro club first meeting.
Lol met aaron and imbas there. Then had the meeting. Then they had introduction. Lol I just said I was sec four. Then everyone laugh. Lol. :D quite amusing actually. Everyone was so serious there.
Okay more importantly, I was looking at the programmes in JC. Saw Huiyao's application sheets. There were so many. And I saw the requirements - sec 3 and 4 results must be submitted. I don't know what to do. I feel disappointed. It's a huge blow. I'm utterly disappointed at myself. How much am I missing out? And how much will I miss out as a result?
Then went back to the trail. (I ponned halfway for the astro thingey) Lol. Tee created an explosion in the lab. First time in my life I've seen an actual explosion lol. He added water to the elephant toothpaste mixture, before adding hydrogen peroxide. Then when the foam was rising, he threw in a lighted splint. Boom. Explosion, and me, Kang and Tee's shirt (lol, tee's shirt) got stained with IODINE. Luckily I managed to quickly wash it off. Lol Jlim told us off for it xD
Basically, how it works is like this. It is the same principle as pouring water on burning wax. When you have a fuel source, and a sufficiently large enough fire, when the fire comes in contact with the water the water will vaporize. In our case, the water which was added rose together with the foam up the tube, and when the lighted splint was thrown down it was ignited by the product oxygen to a bigger flame, and that instantly vaporized the water. When water turns to steam, its volume expands a thousand fold. The oxygen and foam, which were less dense than the water rose up faster than the water and hence, when the water evaporated, was blown out violently. Coupled with the fact that oxygen was on the outer side of the explosion cloud, the whole thing was a fireball. Luckily none of us got burnt. Bad mattie :D
Okay. Uhm and here Gratz to Yudder who got 2nd for 1500m freestyle! Well done la (: And gratz on getting into swimming!
Okay now emo topic.
No, it's not about Vday.
I realize that no matter how hard I try, eventually the only person you can count on in this world is yourself.
Yeah I actually realized this in sec 2. But I've tried so hard to try to accustom myself to others. It's so uncharacteristic of me. But then I get my self esteem lowered, I get used, I get made fun of. It sounds pathetic? Just try. Try and see if you live a life knowing what everyone is thinking, but not knowing to respond to how they think. And if you tell them you know what they're thinking, they get offended. I guess that's something that can never be predicted. I can know all the psychology in the world, but not erratic behavior. It's frustrating, it's killing me.
I don't know how many times I posted this up already (maybe three or four times?) but it's really reiterating in my life. Friends are nothing but investments. When they give you happiness, you keep them. When they piss you off, you just dump them. It's all about how much benefit you gain out of it. It's just that nobody realizes it. You help friends so that they will help you in the future. You help friends so that other people will believe you are kind and caring. Simply put, you never do something without anything in return. It's so blindingly obvious, but everyone chooses to look the other way. Ignorance is bliss. So was the life before the french revolution began.
Oh yeah I got selected to go for emcee training. Like o_0 me an emcee wth?
Okay, now I shall post about Vday. It's weird, but i'll decide to spend my vday this year on the things that are important to me in life now, unlike last year, which was horribly wasted on someone else -_-". Vday is so superficial. What, you mean you love for a day only? Is it an occasion where you decide to let go that burst of emotions and then subside, recede? Please. Spare me. If you truly love someone, you don't love them only on vday. It's just some excuse of a day to hang out with people you like.
Sigh. Everything is piling up on me. But I know I'll make it.
Even if I am alone.
4:08 AM
what hurts the most
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Hmm okay today.
I am FAT. =/
Okay yeah anyway. Chinese and math lesson were like nothing (chinese lesson was basically no lessons, just solving the problems of our class) and math lesson was, YESS NO TEACHER xD loL!
Which then came down to PE.
Won 2 - 0 against Ted's team. But then, I played like shit. Especially shit today. No idea why. I couldn't get my timing right. Bryan scored both since I did an ASSIST lol xD Okay whatever.
But the next match against Bryce's team was screwed up. I think I played fairly okay. Although I did screw up more than usual. I lost the ball twice on my own, and I didn't run fully back to defend. Which shows I'm quite crappy in fitness. Haiz. And there was this one on one with Bryce at the start. I should have gotten that one in... it was obviously my mistake to run head on against him. Damn how to not succumb to pressure. But eh yeah we had quite a lot of chances. Choo nvm la. I suppose we all have our bad days.
Then CLE - Lol TKY was asking us on "what is life?". I mean, with such a philosophical question, wtf are you supposed to answer. I was thinking about stuff and then said:
Life is a death march.
It sounds totally emo. But it's the truth. We walk on even though we know what awaits us is death. Your determination to overcome obstacles (your thirst, your tiredness) determines how far you go on the journey of life before you drop dead. Most people walk to a point and say, hey there's no point in moving on further, we're doomed anyway. Then they stop. That's how far they go. But some people move on further. Every step does not mean being closer to the end, but how they have surpassed others and gone ahead, breaking new ground which no other people have stepped on before.
o_0 okay I suppose that's enough elaboration.
Anyway, bio was just a new topic. And I was really sleepy. Haiz. I think Jlim's impression on me is like negative infinity now la.
Okay after school:
Swim carn! I did 50m freestyle today. Originally supposed to have 100m breaststroke, but then the events damn lag, so postponed. Lol my 50m freestyle timing improved by 2 secs even though I didn't swim for an entire year o_0. 33 secs wootz. xD BUT NOOOO JERRY DID 30.51. Ownage. Damn I think he's the only non-swimmer/polo faster than me. But maybe I'm wrong as usual. Ah whatever. LOL He beat Ryan Goh the poloist -_- and I tied with Ryan Goh (he's 33 secs as well, but I'm not sure about the millisecs). Lol la.
Then I went for hockey training for half an hour. So useful right.
SO yeah, you can just think how tired I am now ><
Damn there's still history test tmr to study for. Haiz.
Monosyllabic is an irony.
4:24 AM
what hurts the most
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Okay anyway. Second post for today, since I'm bored. Koped from benjo.
Put your playlist on shuffle, and for every question click next. Make sure you don't cheat!
1. Are you male or female?
借口 - jay Chou. (o_0 wtf. No, I am clear about my sexuality. No excuses)
2. Describe yourself.
Check Yes Juliet - we the kings (Huh?)
3.What do people feel when they’re around you?
龙战骑士 - Jay Chou (Lol everyone feels like dragon knights)
4. Describe your current relationship.
Fly away - F.I.R. (Lol getting further...)
5. Where would you like to be now?
Take my hand - simple plan (Aww)
6. How do you feel about love?
Unbreakable - westlife (Whoa. o_0 what a nice one)
7. What’s your life like?
Simple and clean - Utada Hikaru (YEAH I WISH MAN :D)
8. What would you ask if you only had one wish?
Nobody - Wondergirls (Holy o_0 am I that emo)
9. If someone says “Is this okay?”, what would you say?
If you're not the one - Daniel bedingfield (o_0 utter randomness)
10. How would you describe yourself?
Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson (I'm a revolutionist?)
11. What do you like in a guy/girl?
River flows in you - Yiruma (... I like the river) xD
12. How do you feel today?
Thunder - Boys like girls (Lol no I'm not that angry xD)
13. What do your friends think of you?
Apologize - One republic (Either I am too much of an apologist or I need to apologize a lot o_0)
14. What do you think of your parents?
Yeah - Usher (LOL. WTF)
15. What do you think about very often?
Crushcrushcrush - Paramore (Oh dear.)
16. What is 2+2?
一千年以后 - JJ Lin ( I'll give you the answer a thousand years later ;)
17. What do you think of the person you like?
Jenny - The click five (What's the problem xD)
18. What is your life story?
Superman (it's not easy) -Five for fighting (Lol maybe tough, but superman? o_0)
19. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Canon in D - Pachelbel (o______________0 go figure)
20. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Boulevard of broken dreams - greenday (Wah. Shattered. Sobsob)
21. What will you dance to during your wedding?
Mirotic - DBSK (LOL WTF NO WAY MAN. HOW WILL YOU EVER DANCE LIKE THAT!)
22. What will they play at your funeral?
Behind these hazel eyes - Kelly Clarkson (Eh..?)
23. What is your biggest fear?
Maria - 200 pounds beauty ost (LOL OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN xD)
24. What is your hobby/interest?
Dirty little secrets - The all american rejects (No, I don't gossip. -_0)
25. What do you think of your friends?
Built to last - Melee (Ha. If only. )
Lol. Yep I'm utterly bored. =/
4:38 AM
what hurts the most
Utmost dosage of random jokes. Look at Choo's blog.
So today. Hrm.
The only things I remember vividly was:
math lesson, where I was struggling to get stuff. I'm quite weak in trigo. Dang. I think by the time I reach differentiation and integration I'll die like some 0_o. Dotz.
Physics, where I finished the test faster than Bryan. DUDE IT WAS SO SIMPLE WTF I STUDIED BUOYANT FORCE FOR NOTHING. And to think I was panicking as well. Argh. Sometimes I should get my priorities right.
RE. We, or at least I hope, didn't screw up. Minjian being Minjian, comes in after playing bridge, without preparation, and thinks he can do a splendid job. He fails. Sad to say. I guess I could have done better on my part too - if I had studied Minjian's part I could probably have answered some of the questions Law shot at us. Haiz.
Lol the hockey AGM. Choo is now in charge of the development of C div. Like whoa. Imba. Fitness will own lol. *bows*
Okay other than that, nothing much.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR SOCCER TMR. CHOO. MAKE SURE THE PLACE YOU STAND IS CLEAR EH ;)
No more mistakes, look ahead and go for goal.
4:05 AM
what hurts the most
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Hello.
This is a failure speaking randomly reiterating whatever happened today.
I fail physics. Test is tmr, I can't do so many questions. I flail.
I have lost my lead on the math teacher in class. I flail. And slowly lagging.
My chinese flails miserably as usual.
On overall, I am flailing.
And IYPT was just flail. Walked to J8 to buy tamiya cars but couldn't find one with a suspension system. Flail.
Although I have a nice 1200 fps vid of a lighter starting up. You can actually see the spark hitting the gas then bursting into flames.
But overall. Flail.
1 o'clock, 3 o'clock, 10 o'clock. What time should it be now?
6 o'clock.
Hooray.
5:44 AM
what hurts the most
Monday, February 9, 2009
I just failed my bio and math test.
Epic fail.
Haiz.
Math - I wrote out the equation on my paper, then forget to square one of the terms. And it was a long question... so I lost 3 marks. Out of 9. That's 66%. GG. I'm sure la. One stupid, random and gay mistake cost me my full marks. I'm fail. FAIL. FAIL. I think was probably because of the ammonia before the test. Head was groggy. BUT WTHECK, I still failed. Choo you can stop suanning me. I teach you and I fail and you beat me. Back to square one. Damn.
Life. Sucks. Balls.
And today's game was quite badly played. Despite the fact that we won 3 - 0. Haiz. Where has that motivation to win gone?
I think I'll go study for my physics test now. And history.
Better late than never.
Life is so screwed up sometimes. How will I ever change this.
3:07 AM
what hurts the most
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Hmm. Today.
Okay. I feel random.
For this morning, all I did was stone on the com since 8.30, and watch the screen going "ka-blink!". I think more than 20 people were asking me questions. Bio and Math. O: well at least I could answer all of them. Hmm.
Then for the afternoon, I fell asleep. As usual. Like a neko. xD
Then busy bees. I failed my compo. 34/70. Can't help it, the highest mark given was 39/70. Lol. FAILFAILFAILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. But then again, I suppose I really deserve to fail. My chinese sucks. Seek to improve! And the one I wrote today took me 1hr 30 mins. Which is quite fail. Argh. I need to speed up my writing as well. And stop pen twirling (while failing) xD!
Why is everybody in my family so adamant about their mistakes.Okay anyway. Lyrics as promised.
Built to last - Melee
I've looked for love in stranger places,
but never found someone like you.
Someone whose smile makes me feel I've been holding back,
and now there's nothing I can't do.
'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.
All of our friends saw from the start.
So why didn't we believe it too?
Whoa yeah, now look where we are.
You're in my heart now.
And there's no escaping it for you.
'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.
Walking on the hills that night with those fireworks and candlelight
You and I were made to get love right
'Cause this is real, and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.
'Cause you are the sun in my universe,
considered the best when we've felt the worst
and most of all it's built to last.
It's a really great song... as well as the one yesterday. Go listen when you guys have the free time! (:
K, bye.
4:18 AM
what hurts the most
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Okay. Today.
Training was weird. I screwed up for practice. Tried to correct my mistakes. Then during the game I scored twice. The coach looked pissed. If the above premises are true, then I inferentially conclude that I pissed the coach of because he doesn't like the fact that I scored. Neither do I, since those goals weren't exactly the best. Damn. I need to improve more. Especially my footwork.
Oh. And we got our jerseys today. I'm no. 7. Lol. In sec 2 I was no.5 I think. Gah. But the shirt looks weird. I'm sure the adidas logo is right at the neck. -_-" Quite fail.
Anyway. The rest of the day was horribly spent. I came home, ate lunch, and SLEPT. Ugh. I can't believe it. Then woke up 3 hours later. Decided to study for my 4 upcoming tests next week. I don't even remember anything for history or bio lol. So yeah I did math and bio. Was relatively okay I guess.
Then went out for some dinner to celebrate my grandma's birthday. Lol. Somehow it feels very very weird. I can't find a level to talk to with my cousins. It's quite hard when nobody understands you most of the time. Sigh. I must learn to talk on a conversational level more. Being too intellectual gets you ousted.
Oh. And my chinese sucks. I asked some china person where is the 茅厕. LOL. Then she was laughing as she pointed me the direction. That term is only used in ancient China so yeah nowadays nobody uses it anymore. Hence, I made a fool out of myself. As usual. The appropriate word would be 洗手间。 Haiz.
FAIL. FAIL. FAIL.
Tmr will be a better day.
Edit: Okay. I feel random, so I decide to post up song lyrics.
Daniel Bedingfield - If you're not the oneIf you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?
I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life
I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side
I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Maybe I'll do "Check yes Juliet" Tmr. Or "Built to last". I'm looping them -_-"
6:30 AM
what hurts the most
Friday, February 6, 2009
Today I shall post early.
Lol okay. First thing in the morning. Feedback from yesterday's year head meeting - many parents were understandably kancheong. Everyone wanted to raise the bar for getting into RJ as 3.2. I think my parents were one of the few that raised their hands for 2.0. Their simple rationale - boys at this age have to learn to be independent. Better failure now than in the future. Somehow I agree, and disagree at the same time. 3.2 is an easy bench mark. Much, much easier than 9 A1s. Lol. It's really unfair to those who are working hard out there, and while we have people being retards in the class. Sigh.
Second thing - PE! Haha CHOO YOU DIDN'T TRY YOUR HAND OF GOD LOL. And so many crosses to you. Next time against Bryce, feint a bit la. Can beat him one. I played okay I guess, dribbled past two people once. I suppose my playing style is very solo, but hey, I didn't even take a shot at goal today. I've been passing lol. And they're getting more accurate. Hmm. Royston... is like a wall. Lol. I think only one ball got past him for the entire game, which is crazy amazing. I NEED STAMINA. ARGH.
Oh, it may be very uncharacteristic for me to say this, since I've been doing it a lot last time, but if there's anything I've learnt in my 4 years of sports in RI is that you don't bitch at someone else about your mistakes. Especially be adamant about it. I think the whole hockey team hated me when I was sec 2 because of that, but thankfully I've changed (I hope!). Learn from your mistakes and stop bitching since it doesn't ever help. You as a sportsman should understand this best. If you're offended as usual, I'm sorry, just ignore me. I just don't like to see people making mistakes that I made before.
Then math. LOL. Okay it was utterly random, my work was "Exemplary". Hooray. -_-. I just practiced for the math TA on circular measure. Nothing much really.
Chinese was CRAZY FUN. Okay, maybe not that much, but for once I finished what the teacher was teaching before the lesson. Thanks to my mom for making me do those assessments at the start of the year xD. Ah well. Better go finish them then. I want my A1. >:)
SS. Finished the vid on "No Man's Land". Quite sad. Ciki and Nino shot each other. "Standing and watching people kill each other is anything but neutral". Hmm.
Okay. LOL IYPT.
Wenwei (some old boy, ex physics olympiad for sg team) is the supervisor of this IYPT thing la. Today we had a very interesting chat on Ewan's life. And nationalities. Damn funny.
Ewan: Now I realize how no life I was when I was in primary school
Me: Huh? What you do?
Ewan: I was only mugging and playing neopets!
xD
Then the conversation progressed...
Ewan: Oh yeah Dewin next week your class hosting any Taiwan students?
Me: Yeah, got 5. 3 boy 2 girl.
Wenwei: Woah. Wait. There are Taiwanese girls coming to your schools?
Ewan: Yeah.
Wenwei: Don't they go to RGS?
Ewan: Uh no.
Wenwei: Woah. Taiwan girls are like... way better than Singapore girls.
(Okay obviously this is a known fact. Anyway. We move on, since wenwei talks about about his life in Taiwan when he was posted by army there)
Wenwei: Eh btw, you know most of my friends, they said when they go Japan the girls there aren't very hot you know.
Me: They wear glasses issit?
Wenwei: No, sometimes their teeth crooked or stuff like that.
Me: Lol sounds like Korea.
Wenwei: Huh really? I thought Korea was GOOD. You know, compare sg to taiwan to Korea, it's like... (he uses hands signals. Thumbs down, Ok, two thumbs up).
Me: LOL. I suppose so.
(okay, what Ewan said next is damn cool)
Ewan: Aiyah, girls don't matter, all that matters in life now is my GPA.
xD
Me and Wenwei: Ewan. *sigh* You secondary school also no life la.
It was really, damn x 1000000000000000 hilarious pls. Laugh until stitch. Lol.
Argh okay. I think this post is long enough.
My wrist is sprained. I think I killed my wrist while sleeping last night. Must have slammed it against the table. ><
Argh okay, hockey training tmr.
Bye!
3:56 AM
what hurts the most
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Today.
Hmm nothing much worth mentioning.
Oh yeah. I screwed up during training. I cannot screw up. Cannot. For those who didn't make the team, I cannot. I'm sorry for making all those bad passes, I'm losing too much concentration. I'm sorry. ARGH HOW TO CONCENTRATE DAMMIT.
Okay. I've been signed up for 50 and 100 freestyle, 100 breaststroke, 50 fly for swim carn. I suppose fly would be pretty fun. Hopefully my fly timing is now sub 40. Haven't done fly in 2 years xD
Lol I can't believe Charis called me out of IYPT just to ask for a food recommendation in the canteen. Haha no worries. But you should have just asked Nigel Fong lol. He's in BB02 also right? Anyway, lol suppose I'll have to call you a senior now. =/ jiayou in RJ!
Okay. NOte. I should have mentioned this, but my posts are RARELY in chronological order.
The J1 girl hockey team is really okay looking (Sorry, but somehow I'm a normal 15 year old hormonal teenager and cannot help but be attracted to the opposite sex) but... vulgar. I was quite shocked, but then again, it's Singapore. Conservatism is gone. Aww.
[I was sitting back facing all of them.]
Girl A: Eh, stop touching my fucking ass! (she laughs)
Girl B: Eh stop fucking mine then
(both laughs)
No idea why, but it sounds pretty uhm... crude.
Oh and the hockey team got scolded because we were too vulgar o_0. I suppose I am getting a bit too. As our wise vice capt Ish says, we shall start using "Bumblebee" and "Mushrooms"! Excellent. xD
Hmm what else is there worth mentioning....
Nothing I suppose.
Bye!
5:22 AM
what hurts the most
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
AHhhhhh.
I can already predict my gpa for this year.
3.6
4.0 for sciences and math. And a 2.8 for chinese.
My chinese is damn fail. I'm sure of all the tests and holiday homework I got back today, my average score is... 60.3/100. That's fail. FAIL. FAIL. I MUST GET AT LEAST 70 dammit. Lol I realize that even if I keep arguing, it is pointless. Chinese is an abstract subject, and if the teacher doesn't like the way you write, you can't argue it out. Because you have no authority. And just my luck I've learnt some screwed up way of writing chinese. ARGH. REVAMP, REVAMP! MY CHINESE MUST. MUST. MUST IMPROVE.
LOL PE. Shaun Choo brought his ggxxpwnzors uber cool turf shoes. Scored a "clinical" goal (I have no idea what that means, but I used my recessive foot. Wait. Non-dominant foot. Lol) And Shaun Choo went to suan me by kicking through two people's legs for a goal. xD Well done la! Lol PE is really fun, even though we lost the second game because our keeper fumbled. Gah. Nvm. I'll practice dribbling with my right foot once it heals fully huh. It's really block-like lol.
Chem and phys was yeah, the usual. Had the utter urge to just listen to the ipod in phys. HYT wouldn't have minded either. But didn't. Since glycerol was a shear fluid and HYT was contradicting herself. Lolz. But anyway, something interesting I saw in the physics lab...
Lol.
Oh yeah. And in chem we were playing with fire. Literally. Me and Davin kept putting copper oxide at the airhole and watch the flame turn green. xD Here it is!
Lol I didn't mean to capture Roys in the pic, but yeah he just turned around at that moment xD Sorry roys! Pretty unglam, lol.
(RANDOM: I SOUND LIKE SOME BIMBO WTF)
English, I stoned, so next.
RE. Lol. RE WAS DAMN JOKER. I'm sure so pathetic la. Do presentation then forget to bring it on thumbdrive -_-". Presenting on Fri now.
Haha on the way home, I was sitting in front of two NSKs. I think they were primary school kids. This was the damn funny convo:
A: Uh you know when I run 1.6 I get stitch. Why ah?
B: Uh I think because your muscles will lactate.
XD!!!! LACTATE and LACTIC ACID. WTF.
Lol. Okay anyway. Two articles in then news caught my eye. One of that was "Sexual revolution breeds confusion". Straits times, just go read. Basically it's on what I wrote a few weeks ago - how girls have become less conservative and all that, really depressing stuff. Gah.
And slumdog millionaire bags another oscar award! Well done la. :D really, it's a great movie, go watch people.
Ah okay I shall end my horrendously long post now. I guess my blogging style is really like a girl's. Type so much. =/
Bye.
5:05 AM
what hurts the most
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
HAHAHA!
Today was quite the day. Well, an okay day I guess.
Lol. For lessons today, I think I only remember what, bio lesson, where we had to dissect a OMGWTFBBQ sheep's eyeball wtf. And it was RIGHT BEFORE RECESS. Like wth, i'm sure you dissect an eyeball before recess, then let the vitreous fluid just spurt out of the freaking eyeball. I OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCE MY SUBJECT COMBO FOR J1 TO BE PCME. NO, NO, NO MORE BIO! ARGH.
Oh yeah. Math. I finally resolved my problem. By going round in circles xD (lol we're doing circular measure and trigo, get the joke? Nah. =/). But yep, it isn't that hard, just uber tedious, and tricky for some questions.
Chinese. Was screwed up. Had yingyongwen test. I WRITE UBER SLOW. DAMN. DAMMIT. DAMMMMMMMMMIT. Lol whole day write long but overtime, what's the use. Sobsobs.
Okay. House meeting. Lol our new theme for the year is damn cool. It's some cute little avatar, and our theme is WASA-B!. Yeah originally from wasabi. Wasabi, otherwise known as a horseradish spice in japan, is a bacterial killing agent. It has a spicy and slightly sour taste, but it is used in many dishes for its properties. And (if you didn't figure it out already), it's green. Lol. Hopefully our WASA-B! is fresh, since un-fresh wasabi is slightly bad for health.
Then hockey match - THE PANTS ARE DAMN GOOD. I CAN DO A SPLIT WITHOUT EVEN FEELING RESTRAINED. HOLY. Lol okay whatever, I can't do a split. Haha xD But they're damn good. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
Okay. The raffles hockey warriors/ death lazers(emphasis on the Z. Ish came out with our team name) trounced SJI 3 - 0. Hakim hat trick lol. Quite a funny match. But wth, I'm sure you hold it at northland sec. SJI and RI are so close to CCAB (Well, close enough), and SHF decides to hold it at YISHUN. Wow. Dotz la. Then I could have gone and pop by SJI to say hi to eden. And his *ahemahem*. Lol. xD jking.
Oh yeah lol. Funny quote.
Hockey TIC: Eh Ish, you really can only talk crap issit.
Ish: No ma'am, it's to release the pressure after a tense game, y'know, after we siege and destroy.
If you don't find anything funny about it, it's normal. You must have an aura of randomness to match with Ish.
Okay, last joke of the day.
What did the physicists sing when they went down the stream?
A: ρ, ρ, ρ your boat gently down the stream.
SO FUNNY!
NOT.
5:20 AM
what hurts the most
Monday, February 2, 2009
Haha it's a miracle I didn't sleep today.
Okay. Had a boring lesson course. Okay what isn't boring, lol. Next week I have 4 tests. WHoo. PHYS BIO MATH HIST. All ace-able subjects, maybe not so much of math and hist though.
I was slacking during hist today. Suddenly no mood to copy notes, just committed everything to memory. I think I can recall only 80% now though. Sian should have just taken the notes la.
And I'm screwing up during training again. My flicking technique is definitely wrong. How can it be that I'm putting so much strain on my right bicep. Argh.
Match tmr, best of luck. Let's own SJI.
Lol. TENIPURI <3!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (:
5:49 AM
what hurts the most
Sunday, February 1, 2009
And...
365th post.
Which means, it's been (almost) a year! Considering I post everyday, and somedays I post twice.
Well, this blog has come a long way. After all my angst and emo and randomness splattering and majorly scarring each and every corner. Lol.
Eheheheh. May decide to change blog address soon.
Well, apart from that, today. I studied for 2 hours. Random studying. Then fiddled with my newly found media player. Then slept. Could not go swimming because my parents were out. And they don't let me go swimming alone. Ah well.
Busy bees today was just the BOMB. My hand burned out from writing a 1000+ chinese word essay. And I think I wrote the least in the class, dammit. Everyone spam 4 pages (one page is 400 words). I totally owned myself la. Pick up and then drop the pen. Wrist hurts. =/ oh dammit.
Some girls in the class are quite okay looking. But everyone is just quiet. And stone. Lol chinese tuition on a sunday afternoon, how does that sound.
=/
Okay yeah, so basically i'm preparing for sch tmr now.
It hurts so much when you've grown more beautiful.
5:06 AM
what hurts the most
